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1.
Army slang, meaning "severely fucked up". Used in the context of comparison. See also: hockey cleats
"Ho-ley shit, Private Snuffy! You lost your rifle??? You are fucked up like a football bat, son!"
by Bullzeye December 26, 2003
 
2.
used to describe a situation or something that has happened that is completely wrong or fucked up.
When Jason used pumice soap to jack off, Jill walked in and exclaimed, "That's about as fucked up as a football bat you bad mamma jamma!"
by Jason March 10, 2005
 
3.
When something is totally supery-dupery gay, you can say that it's "as queer as a football bat." Because you don't use a bat in football. See also, tennis helmet.
I'm thinking of switching to FaceBook 'cuz MicePace is getting gayer than a football bat.
by panicBoy December 07, 2007
 
4.
A clever, hypothetical weapon used to attack an enemy that's making BS comments using football analogies. See "James Carville Goes Off on Fareed Zakaria" on Youtube.
"Ya he talked about an offensive linebacker.. when I read that I wanted to hit him with a football bat." - James Carville
by Dave:P June 10, 2011
 
5.
A term used with the expression "as queer as" to refer to someone strange or homosexual in a derogatory manner.
You think he's gay?

He's as queer as a football-bat.
by manning18 June 14, 2007
 
6.
Noun. A slang term for a queer or gay male. Used in a similar manner as three dollar bill.
Did you see how Bruce was dancing? That guy is as queer as a football bat.
by suomi August 27, 2005
 
7.
An as of yet non-existant sporting-goods object used as a slang adjective to describe the level of Gayness that a Homosexual exhibits in public.
Dude! That Guy was Queer as a footballbat!
by The Morbid One December 23, 2002