Also known as Evab. A verifiable psychopath with a history of Clash of Clans addiction and in intelligence comparable to that of a dingus.
Evan's dingus is tiny.
by taller baller June 20, 2014
A half black guy that enjoys giving hand jobs in the parking lot of any family restaurant. This type of person acts high and mighty but crys them self to sleep while masturbating every night. If you are ever in the presence of one leave immediately or you may become infected with AIDS.
Evan is a fag
by Phill Davis December 29, 2011
just a little perverted. rides magical unicorns into the sunset, while flowers bloom underfoot and crazy asian techno music plays. wherever she goes the people around her are mindfucked past sanity. is bros with jesus allah yahweh and all those niggas in da sky. will one day rule the hitler but successful and instead of killing jews everyone will simply lie down and take it like a loli takes it in the face from pedobear. you can all suck it. hard. TITTIES!
person 1: dude what just happened?
person 2: i have no idea but i feel amazing!
person 1: wait! look at the sunset man!
person 2: ITS AN EVAN ON A UNICORN!!!!!
person 1: we have been blessed.

jesus: yo evan wassup?
evan: not much homie wheres allah at mah nigga?
yahweh: wassup home skillet biscuits!?!?!

hitler: yo satan how ya hangin
satan: you done fucked up broski.
hitler: NOOOOOO
satan: farewell im off to go play hopscotch with evan.

you: wtf am i reading?!?! THIS IS SO WRONG!!!
evan: i know...but it feels so right
by MR SANDE, naww just kidding... December 08, 2010
The biggest manwhore you will ever meet. He lies and cheats and he spikes his hair like he's 12. He is pretentious rich white boy that the world is better without. He thinks hes all that but he can only get girls who look like they are in middle school. He thinks hes so metal but he listens to stupid emo scene bands. Dating him is hell. He claims that he has real issues when in reality he his only issues are first world problems like "ugh im gunna kill myself because my parents bought me a white iphone 6 instead of a black one" (Real quote from him). He thinks hes all that because hes on swim team... But hes the worst one on the team (Awkward).
"Hey Evan, how are you?"
"Im PIMPINNNNN i have so many bitches and im filthy rich!! Get away from me pesant"
by wirodeu December 16, 2014
Also known as a douchebag. He thinks he is very intelligent and has too much self-esteem. He will tell you he loves you and then leave you hanging, because he's an asshole. He has a ginger brother named Brady, who is much cooler than him and can shoot three pointers.

An Evan's nose is often uncommonly large for his face. He has oddly hairy arms that don't suit his body. He only thinks bullshit and nonsense, because his mind is full of shit.
That Evan deserves to fuck a cactus.
by emmahhh July 08, 2014
The greatest guy you will ever know. Someone who will love you with everything he has and never stop. Will look at you and tell you how beautiful and amazing you are everyday. Will kiss you so passionately that time will stop for that split second. When you see his face, your heart will skip a beat and you'll smile the whole time you're with him. He'll wait for you, even though you're 664 miles away from each other. He'll protect you and make sure you're at your best before he worries about himself. He will be your one and only. The only guy you will want to be with. For the rest of your life.
Alex: "Logan cheated on me again."
Me:"I'm sorry. You should find someone like Evan."
Alex:"You are so lucky."
by emmaly9678 October 19, 2013
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