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The Uberest of Douches. As a Lioness is to a cougar, so is a Doucheyne to a douche.
Son: Who was that Douche we just saw at The Crossing Over Show?

Dad: Son that was John Edwards, he's a Doucheyne, The Biggest Douche in the Universe.
Doucheyne by PeterNortherly May 4, 2014

Doucheness 

The doucheness you display after 5 beers precludes us from hanging with you.
Doucheness by WMS August 12, 2006

Doucheness 

Doucheness: having or displaying douche like tendencies.

The Douche Patrol aims to expose all douches across the globe. We see all forms of doucheness and the ill-effects that result.
John Doe was out clubbing this weekend with such doucheness that it was a total turn off to all his fellow clubbers.
Doucheness by Douche Patrol October 31, 2009

Douchiness 

n. - doo-schee-nehss - The quality of being a douche or douche bag; used when an act is flagrantly lame or reconfirms an already existing suspicion that an entity has douche-like attributes; typical of a person or thing that doesn't command respect.
Fox News' douchiness was on display when they suggested Obama eat a slice of watermelon during a debate.
Douchiness by chad-o February 21, 2009

doucheness 

i hate you because your doucheness is ginormous
doucheness by levi parker September 5, 2007

Douchenese 

Yea i cant understand you , i dont speak Douchenese
Douchenese by LBau November 30, 2010