PDS: Primary symptoms include deletion of large quanitities of
porn after
masturbation, followed by feelings of regret, and the subsequent downloading of even more
porn to compensate for the loss. The disease typically takes hold after a rapid influx of new
porn into the computer system will lead it to reach a level of Critical
Ass: a type of self-actualization crisis in which a guy realizes that he could have ran for Congress and won, attained Grandmaster status in chess, or even developed an effective treatment for PDS had he chosen to apply himself differently. At this point, most males enter into the final stage of the process after swearing that they will never watch another
porn for the rest of their cursed lives. This "Renouncement Stage" typically lasts somewhere between the amount of time David Blaine stood on a pole without sleeping, and the time David Blaine spent in a
water bubble shitting in a tube, and usually ends similarly with intense crying after realizing the beauty of humanity. Fear not my
friends, we will find treatment, and by treatment, I mean we will find a way for you not to delete your favorite episode of "Barely Legal" when it is clearly still its prime.
