15
Revolutionary band that decided that the best way to make music is to cut off their own testicles and write lyrics about problems that melodramatic teenagers have. At first, they wanted to play Goth music, paint their fingernails, and write in blogs. This doesn't make too much money so they moved on to downsizing to an entire new ensemble (with their parents money of course). Bought new acoustic guitars, a lighter drumset, haircuts, and new knifes to cut their wrists with.

After the transformation, the lead singer had a revelation. He realized that his balls were the reason they weren't making any money. He had surgery to get them removed that way his voice was higher. After the removal, he experienced a strange side effect in which the recipient feels depressed all the time (probably cause he has no balls).

After writing some songs, the band needed some lyrics. The default backup lyrics writer had no balls, could he do it? Why yes, yes he did. Unfortunately, all he wrote about was his ex-girlfriends, failed attempts to cut his wrists, his bottle of zoloft, and his cool sneakers.

The band was an immediate hit, the lyrics hit the problems of every melodramatic, mildly retarded teenager of America. I mean, the music made the listeners have more confidence (Some guy with no balls makes alot of money, thats gotta raise someones confidence).

After they sold theirselves to the devil, they made a music video to put on MTV. The worst TV station ever created.

In conclusion, if you are looking for music that will make you want to slit your wrists, beat the shit out of your ex girlfriend, masturbate to kiddy porn, and cry all day, you've found it. Dashboard Confessional.

They have a book coming out soon, its called "How to produce shit and make money!". (Publisher: MTV)
by Veritas_Aequitas February 24, 2005
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16
a crappy emo band with terrible lyrics, terrible music, and terrible fans
my brain will explode if i listen to anymore of this shit

douche bag music
by stan January 31, 2005
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17
An amazing emo band with amazing lyrics. Before you people go an bash their songs, because you've "earned" something about the so called emo stereotype, freakin' listen to the damn songs, mmkay? The lyrics are amazingly written, and you have no damn right what so ever to bash them.
I am, Vindicated, I Am selfish, I am Wrong, I Am Right I Swear I'm right I Swear I Knew It All Along...<333
by Savanna<3 May 24, 2005
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18
a band that finally made it into the spotlight...
for all you dumbasses that think all bands, such as dashboard confessional, that make it are sell-outs, what the fuck do you think any band is trying to do? go belly-up and sing for you in free shows until they get huge beer guts and lose their voice from throat cancer from inhaling to much smoke?
by Krystina December 08, 2003
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19
one of the most amazing bands ever... kinda like the Foo Fighters but a bit more chilled and emo.. good music about real emotions... they dont receive the praise they really deserve. very kool and very hot!
Screaming Infidelities is the best DC song ever!!
by lola February 11, 2005
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20
A band that makes you really think about how deep these guys really suck.
I had a best freind,
But she got ran over,
cause i forgot to put on the parking brake,
so my new best friend is you

My dog has run away
I am sad today
People think im gay
But really i go both ways
by Chris Dudley January 09, 2005
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21
The Best Emo Band to ever play music. The DEFENITION OF EMO in its self is in Dashboard Confessional.
Dashboard is the sex of all music. AND THEY JUST NOW GOT THE RECOGNITION THEY SO RIGHTLY DESERVE!
by Micah July 20, 2004
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