1. a respected client or patron that financially supports an establishment by using their services or purchasing their merchandise.
2. (in some stores) A common criminal that must be watched, video taped, herded through electronic detection devices like cattle and have their purchases riffled through & checked against the receipt by friskers at the exit of the store.
Store boner 2: "Customer is just another word for an undetected criminal. If I had my way, I'd have the customers turn out their pockets before they leave, and have their purses, strollers and everything searched as well. In fact, that's what I'm working towards. Slowly, I remove one respectful treatment after another, until I am finally strip searching the customers as they leave. It's similar to the gradual way the Hitler removed the rights of the Jews prior to the holocaust, one by one. After a while, they will expect to be treated as the criminals that I'm sure the lot of them are, and will even defend my right to do it. And the best part is, the cost of all this added security won't increase the prices, because when I increase the security, I'll just decrease the customer service to compensate."
They sit there arses down wherever they like without having the common decency of finding the maitra' d and get pissed off when they are removed from the reserved table.
When/if unsatisfied with thier meals, they don't want the problem to be solved, but prefer to make smart-arse remarks about the food.
They also go by a huge range of dereogotory terms genearted by frustrated kitchen staff and waitstaff. Customers defeat their own purpose.
Forget what they ordered
Pass up/pile up plates, despite it being bad etiqutte, throwing off "The Gameplan" and smashing things in the process and then saying some dumbshit thing like: "I should let you do it, eh"? WELL, FUCK!
Make unnecessary remarks such as
Customer 1: "I wouldn't feed that to my dog"- meanwhile the meal is perfect.
Come in a wide varity of classes: "Working Class"- The most thuggish and threaten to bash you.
"The Middle Class"- The biggest whingers, tell YOU how to do your job. These fuckwit customers also don't know what it is like to be loaded up with plates and unable to move cheap grog out of the way. Sometimes they think that they are helping, but just fuck up the game plan resulting in an extra trip or worse, broken plates etc.
"Yuppies/ upper middle class" customers- WILL give you the blow by blow of how to do your job. They must also give every single fucken metaphor and simile in the fucken thesaurous to demonstrate how disatified with the food, the tempreture of the room and bitch about the wine, in which the bar staff can do nothing about. These fuckwits want the problem to be solved even less than the middlecalss and won't be satisified until YOUR blood is ON their hands. These are also known as Cuntfaces