crimp one off

To take a sh*t and whilst it is midway through the batti, the 'crappee' sqeezes the ass muscle to cut it in half and leave the bathroom early.

"OMG! I'm late for my interview!!! Better crimp one off!"

by McCowboy July 20, 2006

Crimp Off A Length

Royal Navy slang dating back before the Second World War, it means to defecate, crap, shit or take a dump. Nothing fancy, to crimp off a length you merely have to evacuate your bowels.

"That fat fucker of a stoker is getting shitty with me again!"
"What're you goin' to do?"
"Next time the cunt is down the engine room, I'll crimp off a length in his best boots!"

by AKACroatalin April 10, 2015

crimp off a length

Tightening your sphincter mid poop to cut it in half.

I had such a massive turd this morning, i had to crimp off a length to stop it rising too high in the bowl

by Doctor rotcod February 25, 2014

crimping off a length of dirty spine

Verb: to crimp off a length of dirty spine - to defecate.

- Where have you been, Mike?
- I've just been crimping off a length of dirty spine, mate.

by SusieQ October 4, 2005