between a crematorium and a dildo shop 

To find yourself in a situation where you have been undone by your own actions.

"where is Rudy?"

"He's between a crematorium and a dildo shop"

between a crematorium and a dildo shop by MartyFunkhauser November 8, 2020

between the dildo store and the crematorium 

1. Complete, total and utterly humiliating failure.

2. To be at rock bottom, in the most embarrassing and potentially absurd way possible. Your life has never been worse.

Man, did you see how sad Rudy's speech was last night? He's really between the dildo store and the crematorium now.

between the dildo store and the crematorium by lord troublebubble November 11, 2020

cribulatory

Fancy word for crib. sounds more profesional than crib

Meet me at my cribulatory

cribulatory by Kevin from Mercedes, brought to me by FatAndy.com June 30, 2006

between the crematorium and the dildo shop 

synonymous with "the middle of bumfuck nowhere," except this time, you're so hopelessly pathetic that nobody even WANTS to find your ass.

"So where the FUCK are we again?"
"IDK, somewhere between the crematorium and the dildo shop..."

between the crematorium and the dildo shop by lena danvers November 11, 2020

warm cremator 

A stainless steel drum, fitted with redundant 60 psi relieve valves, partly filled with a water and sodium hydroxide solution, and heated over a propane flame to 300°F. Used to completely dissolve bodies, in less than three hours. Preferred by organized crime in industrialized nations, for body disposal.

Vladimir: You like my warm cremator boss? Got rid of them snitches.

Mikol: You rock. Where did you come up with this?

Vladimir: They use a larger system in American slaughterhouses. This is a puny one.

warm cremator by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 16, 2010

cold cremator 

A drum partly filled with sodium hydroxide (commonly called lye or caustic soda) and water, used to fully dissolve a human body over a period of several days. Favored by organized crime, warlords and serial killers, for body disposal.

criminal 1: Why you got all of these drums in your garage?

criminal 2: Those are my cold cremators. I dissolve potential snitches and bitchy girlfriends in them.

criminal 1: Cool!

cold cremator by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 16, 2010

Cock Crematorium

When you put hot hands or something similar on your freezing cold penis.

My penis was so cold I had to the cock crematorium to warm it up

Cock Crematorium by HughMongusCo February 14, 2022