noun. the very tiny yet powerful person that steers and directs their boat on a crew team.
the coxswain is the embodiment of their coach, often referred to as the "coaches' minion". they have a weird relationship with their coach that doesn't exist between rowers and coaches. coxswains out in the real world can be identified by a peculiar tan line in the middle of their forehead from the nk strap attached to their coxbox, a device that amplifies their already incredibly loud voice in the boat. also sometimes called a "little tyrant", coxswains are in control of everything that happens in and around their boat. unfortunately, this means they must also take complete responsibility for any damage to the boat, even if it isn't their fault. a good coxswain can make their boat move faster than that boat is generally physically able to move. don't ask how, its a coxswain secret. another trait of a talented coxswain is to be able to criticize/fix tech in the boat without rudely calling people out. coxswains of opposing teams are often seen glaring at eachother when they are even or close in a race.
when not directly coxing, coxswains can be some of the sweetest people in the world.
spectator 1: "dude did you hear that coxswain?"
spectator 2: "yeah! she was so motivational in that last 250!"
spectator 1: "i know! her boat jumped 6 seats during that second 10!"
spectator 2: "she can cox my boat any day."
characteristics of the coxswain:
-stands around 5 ft 2 in
-weighs no more than 110 lbs.
-directs and steers the boat for crew
-sits normally in the stearn but in certain 4 person crews in the bow
-has a voice that can be heard for miles
-is seen toting around water bottles, shoes, socks, and the ever popular cox box
-has a mysterious tan line in the middle of his or her forehead from the strap attached to the microphone on the cox box
-upon winning a race, the coxswain is thrown into the (often very dirty) water
-he or she is in charge of directing practices, calling races, and making certain that the $30,000 boat does not hit any other objects such as a bridge, floating log, another boat, or a dock
Common calls of the coxswain:
-"LET IT RUN" (used to stop the boat)
-"WEIGH 'NUFF" (used to stop the boat)
-"PORT/STARBOARD PRESSURE" (to direct the boat)
-"POWER TEN in TWO, ONE, TWO" (used in races to make the boat go faster, often at the dismay of the crew)
and the ever popular:
-"HOLY &*^#, CHECK IT DOWN, WERE ABOUT TO HIT THAT BRIDGE" (self explanatory)
Man...that coxswain sure is tiny but she has a very loud mouth, her crew wouldn't be able to survive without her.
In crew, the small person who controls every action of rowers. Although some people would call them omnipotent gods onboard shells, they're content to be called coxswains. This person is generally more intelligent, capable, and assertive than the dumb cows pulling oars. Although the coxswain, by nature of their size and immense intellectual power, is prone to badgering and physical abuse by the much larger rowers, their job is undeniably much more crucial. Coxswains have the power to get rowers to do pretty much whatever they want, through the clever combination of coercion and being able to transition from urgent whispering to drill sergeant barking to demon-like screeching from the depths of hell.
Coxswains, thankfully for the rowers, generally use their power for good rather than evil. This rule is broken, however, during the dreaded 2k erg test, during which the coxswain attempts to remove any incentive a rower has for living. Neglecting this 6-7 minute thrust into the bloody bowels of hell, coxswains are pretty chill.
Andrew: I heard you joined the crew team, but you're only 4'9, how is that possible?
Becky: I am the coxswain.
Andrew: Oh sorry I didn't realize. By the way, you're looking lovely today. Would you like something to drink? How about some money, or my first born child? Just don't make me row.
"Wow, that new coxswain is so loud and annoying"
"Without our coxswain, we wouldn't have one the race"
"jeez, that girl has slept with 5 guys this past week. what a coxswain"
A very very smooth man with the ladies. A man who smells as good as he looks and looks as good as he thinks he does. A ladies man.
I over heard this girls saying hes a coxswain.
Unholy empress of the night...
That coxswain is a biznatchio.
A large blow dart of a human being that sells business forms for a living, or a fireman who arrives late to the scene.
The coxswain was on the phone all day and sold nothing.
The coxswain was late to the fire.