1 definition by MCox

Top Definition
In crew, the small person who controls every action of rowers. Although some people would call them omnipotent gods onboard shells, they're content to be called coxswains. This person is generally more intelligent, capable, and assertive than the dumb cows pulling oars. Although the coxswain, by nature of their size and immense intellectual power, is prone to badgering and physical abuse by the much larger rowers, their job is undeniably much more crucial. Coxswains have the power to get rowers to do pretty much whatever they want, through the clever combination of coercion and being able to transition from urgent whispering to drill sergeant barking to demon-like screeching from the depths of hell.
Coxswains, thankfully for the rowers, generally use their power for good rather than evil. This rule is broken, however, during the dreaded 2k erg test, during which the coxswain attempts to remove any incentive a rower has for living. Neglecting this 6-7 minute thrust into the bloody bowels of hell, coxswains are pretty chill.
Andrew: I heard you joined the crew team, but you're only 4'9, how is that possible?

Becky: I am the coxswain.

Andrew: Oh sorry I didn't realize. By the way, you're looking lovely today. Would you like something to drink? How about some money, or my first born child? Just don't make me row.
by MCox April 28, 2010

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