A rather large person who is "strung out" on PCP and various other narcotics.
Cincinnatti police found a beached whale and decided to club it to death, having no easy access to baby seals.
by Unknown December 04, 2003
Top Definition
When you take a dump while sitting on the toilet backwards so that your fecal matter ends up on the dry part of the toilet and not in the water.
Last time I used Gabe's bathroom I left a gnarly beached whale.
by wigwam69 September 09, 2006
A turd so big it comes out of the water in the shitty 1.6 gallon low flow toilet.
Following the big Mexican dinner, Jim put a Beached Whale in the toilet.


The stench of Jim's Beached Whale rose from the toilet bowl.
by The Dutch Auto Man November 09, 2007
When fecal matter in a toilet is only partly submerged in water and partially lay on the dry porcelain of the toilet bowl.
"Shit. Look at that beached whale! Sorry brown buddy, I didn't mean to let you perish like that."
by Jerome Jenkins April 29, 2006
similar to awkward turtle, denoting the occurance of an awkward situation.

the beached whale is performed by placing one hand on top of the other, face up, and thumbs rotating.
JB walked into a room full of naked hispanic men, all playing the flute while whipping each other with palm leaves.

To alleviate the awkward situation, JB starts to freestyle rap. This makes the entire situation even more awkward, and the naked hispanic men all begin to do the beached whale.
by HitStick93 April 06, 2010
An individual who is confined to their bed due to their morbid obesity; one who wallows in their own excrements.
"Whoa! look at that beached whale"
by ricemond December 06, 2003
A really fat chick stranded outside a bar after closing time looking for a guy to take them home.
Ryan, I thought you were gonna rescue that beached whale last night.
by Anonymous Motrin May 30, 2009
A beached whale is a piece of poop so large that it leaves the water of the toilet. This usually leaves a mark as well because the poop touches directly onto the dry part of the toilet. It can often be bragged about between guys. However, girls will not be impressed by the feat of a beached whale and will most likely result in her not wanting to have sex with you.
Guy 1: Dude, I left I huge beached whale in the toilet yesterday. It was like the third one of my whole life.

Guy 2: Awesome, you should have taken a picture.

Guy: Hey, I have a picture of the beached whale I left in the toilet yesterday. Do you want to see it?

Girl: Ew, you're disgusting. I will never have sex with you.
by tehsheriff May 25, 2009

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