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1.
A state of not being in a normal state, whether its a result of drinkin too much, smokin too much, etc. or just being abnormal in ur "normal" state. Typically, it's utilized with a slew of other swear words or misspelled when typed because of an inability to properly spell when one is intoxicated. You may also want to stress the word "ass" when using the term, enunciating it as obnoxiously as you can. Now, one may ask why you need this word when you have the words "drunk", "faded", "hammered", "shitfaced", "inebriated", "hamsauced", "blazed", "stoned", "fucked up", etc. First of all, consider the word "ASSED" a universal term to describe the intoxicated state youre in. Instead of sayin youre drunk n high, you can say youre ASSED. Secondly, if you are in fact ASSED, you are far more intoxicated than the other words indicate. Finally, the term ASSED always has to be spelled in all capital letters to emphasize how it sounds wen it is used and to get the full meaning across.

The word originated wen a group of college students from the Bay Area went on a trip to Tahoe n were ASSED for 3 days strait. Once the word was uttered for the first time, it caught on like a hook to a fishs mouth n a whole family of similar words wer created, includin SHASSED, COCKLED, n SHASSCOCKLED. The word spread like an STD to the students respective colleges, rangin all da way from UCLA n USC 2 Yale n has finally made its way to urbandictionary, where da official definition is solidified 4 life.
-"Hey, are you ASSED?"
"DUDE, I AM SO ASSED"

-"Hey, how ASSED are you??"
"DUDE, I'm more ASSED than a shitbitch off the cock of her tits dicking the fuck of the shitter"

-"Im tryna get ASSED tonight so I can get some ASS and fuck the assdick of the cockfuck in the bitchtitcunt"

-"Shit is FUCKED right now. IM ASSED"

-"Shitfuck bitchshit asscock nutdick dicked in the nip." <- Something someone might say if they were ASSED
by SASsed January 17, 2010
158 68
 
2.
bothered: can't be bothered to do something
Ashton: How did you discover that orange juice on pancakes was good?
Anna: I spilled some on my pancakes once and couldn't be assed to cook anything else.
by ame_jayy June 21, 2012
24 2
 
3.
(used to give emphasis) bad-assed, high-assed, tight-assed.
- I think it's time to put on a diet! Take a look! This T-shirt is freakin' tight-assed !!!

- Jogging everyday, and also eating a apple a day keeps the doctor away!
by William Warney December 13, 2010
11 10
 
4.
wen one rubs his or her ass on someone else
David assed Derek well
by David Schrbopples March 23, 2005
37 38
 
5.
popular suffix to emphasize a word.
Your gay-assed son just came out.
by Kung-Fu Jesus April 21, 2004
20 30
 
6.
Cashed, or depleted, typically in reference to marijuana.
This bowl is assed, man.
by KorbenD February 28, 2005
7 22
 
7.
killed, defeated, or embarassed
I'm sure Cal will get assed once again this football season in the PAC-10.
by Big Steve September 04, 2003
4 19