Absolute Poo 

A British expression, it’s used to describe something that is no good, rubbish or of poor quality. It’s a rather more polite way of saying totally shit.

“How did your interview go?”
“Absolute Poo!”

Absolute Poo by AKACroatalin August 1, 2015

The Absolute State 

An exclamation or summation of a topic or group and its condition. The current state of something in degeneracy, failure, or disappointment.

Pete: "Wow Cardi B is at the top of the billboard 100 for Hip hop"
Steve: "The absolute state of hip hop"

The Absolute State by AZUBBY October 4, 2019

absolute cunt 

1. noun: Someone who is unquestionably and entirely a cunt.

2. noun: female genitalia in its entirety

That Big Ears shat on the back seat of my car. What an absolute cunt.

absolute cunt by N. Oddy November 13, 2013

Absolute mad lad 

When someone does something so extreme, that even god becomes curious.

Dude did you see what Tyler just did?! He put the milk first into the bowl instead of the cereal! Absolute Mad Lad!!!!

Absolute mad lad by J3rm3rks May 17, 2018

absolute madman 

A fucking legend. someone who'll do something that even you wouldn't dare.

Did you see Tom? He swallowed a can of coke whole, what an absolute madman!

absolute madman by TheChineseSenator November 8, 2017

You dumb fucking cretin, You fucking fool. absolute fucking buffoon. you bumbling idiot, fuck you 

Gordon Ramsey type beat

Parents: "Aww! Our baby is finally talking!"

The Baby: "You dumb fucking cretin, You fucking fool. absolute fucking buffoon. you bumbling idiot, fuck you"

You dumb fucking cretin, You fucking fool. absolute fucking buffoon. you bumbling idiot, fuck you by notjakelmao November 4, 2020

Absolute Fucker 

A person who goes on vacations when he's several years late on a deadline then acts put upon when people call him out on it.

Also a person who lures people into his home with promises of lemony cakes only to serve them Wild Cards and miniature sex dolls.

Me: Some would say that GRRM is an absolute fucker.

You: I agree with them.

Me: Hey, me too!

You: OK, it is settled then.

Absolute Fucker by Ye Olde Man Winter August 25, 2010