Vampires are real, unlike ghosts, fairies and werewolves, who clearly cannot exist under the laws of physics.

Vampires are as real as the chair you're sitting in. They do not sleep in coffins during the day, because as they are members of the human race, they are not nocturnal and the sun does not kill them. Often times, however, vampires are sensitive to the sun. They have to squint quite a bit unless they have sunglasses, and they may get sunburned much faster than other humans due to their pale complexions.

The vampires do not all necessarily drink blood, and none need blood to survive. The ones who do drink the red liquid probably only drink small amounts given to them by their lover. In that case the blood is seen as a binding gift that lovers exchange as a promise to one another.

There are some vampires that do drink the blood of small animals frequently, but those people are truly deranged and are at risk of getting rabies and other nasty diseases, so I wouldn't emulate them if I were you.

Psychic vampires are the most common, however about 50% of psychic vampires do not even realize that they are sucking the life out of everyone around them. They are so used to being negative or taking their feelings out on others that they cannot comprehend the negative effects their tirades may have on those around them. Some psychic vampires, however, take from their victims intentionally. They get a sense of happiness and well being when they make others around them feel worse. Perhaps you know someone like that? There are many of those types creeping around.

The majority of vampires tend to be romantic and sensitive, but of course there are exceptions as always. Many are artists, musicians, writers; or "right-brained" thinkers. Real vampires tend to enjoy all forms of literature and media that deal with fictional vampires, because they are reading about their own kind. Even though some ideas in books and movies are a little far-fetched, vampires give the artists/writers a bit of slack because stories do have to be entertaining, after all.

Vampires can be somewhat 'Goth' or 'punk'; basically they are not very preppy, as preppy people are usually too happy, tan, logical or "left-brained" to be bothered by things of the underground. Vamps are not always depressed as some people may think, however it is true that they are not afraid to let their emotional side shine through and have a good cry every now and then, or every day if that suits their fancy (I myself am one to cry quite a bit, yet anyone would argue that I am a very happy, upbeat person).

If you truly believe you are a vampire, you should seek help at the 1-800-IAM-VAMP 24 hour hotline, where a qualified vampire counselor will be on hand to help you cope with your newfound identity.

I'm only kidding.
But you will know what you are when the time comes. Being a vampire is nothing to be ashamed of, so embrace it if you are one, and accept the vampires for what they are if you find yourself utterly normal.

Good day, ladies and gents.
I am a vampire, so you'd better believe it.
by Lady Tremaine July 10, 2008
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Something that does not sparkle.
Dracula is a vampire, but Edward Cullen is a fairy.
by lacunainc May 13, 2009
a great subculture and ledgend on the verge on ruin due to the popular mainstream phenomon known as 'Twilight'
Real Vampires do NOT sparkle
by Var effing Sinler December 29, 2008
1: One whom drinks the blood of others, be it animal or human. Not to be confused with cannibalism or sarcophagy as no tissue is consumed.

2: Term describing Vlad Tapish, or Vlad the Impaler (1431-1476) and Erzebet (Elizabeth) Bathory (1560 -1614), the Bloody Countess of Csejthe: both notable historicaly for the consumption of blood. Dracula is a name based off the Order of the Dragon, or Order of Dracul, which Bram Stoker used as his vampiric character based loosely on Vlad the Impaler.
1: Jill tore the end of the medical bloodbag and poured some of its contents into a crystal glass. Thus, vampire.

2: The Bloody Countess slaughtered over six hundred virgins, practiced vampirism and bathed in the blood of her victims. Once captured, she was confined to a single room in the tallest tower of her castle and was held prisoner by the Hungarian court untill her death at age 54.

3: Dracula owns.
by LuciusDu`LamiaiMelusine October 23, 2005
Mythical creatures which were once considered genuinely scary, but are now the laughing stock of the monster world thanks to Stephenie Meyer and her extreme pile of fail 'Twilight', otherwise known as 'Necrophilia for Tweens'.
'Hey, have you seen the film Twilight? Those vampires are soooooo scary!!'
"Don't be stupid, those aren't real vampires! Vampires don't sparkle and they're supposed to be scarier than that!"
'... Edward's gonna marry me!'
by Fanpyre January 02, 2010
ruined by stephenie meyer and her creation TWILIGHT
a real vampire does not/is not:

a daywalker
edward cullen
falls in love with his meal(that being bella swan)
goes to school
sleeps in a bed
make teeny bopper pussys wet
a model for gayass hot topic
has emotions

the lord of darkness
fears the cross
hate garlic
sleeps in a coffin
not gay
does not feal love

only 1 thing on its mind,it being blood
turns into a bat
hates sunlight
has a fancy wardrobe(refer to the old dracula movies)

todays modern vapire is gay in my opinion they can love the prey**cough**twilight**cough**.be out in the day light,listen to ipods,sleep in beds,are homosexual,drivecars,can no longer turn into bats(OMGWTF),are daywalkers,wear urban clothing(this goes to all u fags u clam they're vapires),have sex with humans

thank you so much stephenie meyer,you piece of shit for ruining bram stroker's legacy count dracula aka vampire with your fucking crap shit twilight
by TiTyRon August 21, 2009
1. In literature, media, and folklore, a "traditional" vampire is a demon who consumes blood of humans or animals for nourishment. Sometimes a human who has been bit by a vampire will transform into a vampire themselves. Vampires have a fear of anything holy, garlic, and the sun. Vampires have a child-like mentality, as they are unable to enter places or do certain things without permission, as was first addressed in Bram Stoker's "Dracula." Most commonly killed by a stake through the heart.

2. Any species of bat that consumes blood. Three types of vampire bats are the Common Vampire Bat (Desmodus rotundus), the Hairy Legged VB (Diphylla ecaudata), and the White-Winged VB (Diaemus youngi). They rarely attack humans and mostly consume blood from livestock or birds.

3. Any member of the goth subculture who thinks that listening to Norwegian death metal, dressing in long black clothing, and being a fan of vampire movies and/or blood will make them a full-fledged vampire. Refuse to believe that vampires are just the work of folklore. Can usually be seen outside Hot Topic, alone, as nobody will be their friend because they "don't want to associate with the living."
1. Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is considered the premiere text of vampire folklore.

2. Vampire bats are common in tropical climates, barns, and zoos.

3. This was an actual example from someone I met at the mall who was claiming to be a vampire. They became my "source," so to speak.
by Matt..... October 10, 2007
1. A sanguivore is the kind of vampire with the need for blood. These guys are the real kind, but are mortal, have a reflextion, and are only SENSITIVE to light. They can go out in the sun and eat garlic and touch roses so get that fairytale crap out of your head. They need blood, though. They don't neccesarily LOOK like a vamp or have the folklore vampire lifestyle. AKA a sang vamp.

2. A psy vamp feeds off of energy rather than blood. Sometimes a sang vamp is short on food and resorts to psy techniques. AKA an energy vampire.

3. A vampyre looks like one a vamire, but doesn't neccesairly need blood. A vampyre is "into" the whole vamp thing and can be considered to have a vampire fetish, but doesn't need blood and might not even be into that area.

4. Awakening is when a true vamp goes through a "puberty" of sorts and realizes what they are.

5. Turning is when a normal person becomes a vamp through a scarcely known techinque.

6. Blood Fetishists don't need blood and AREN'T vampires, they just LIKE it, whether it be sexual or just for kicks and giggles.
Vampires aren't modern-day Draculas, they are much more complicated.
by everyrose October 30, 2005

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