Top definition
A person incapable of lasting for more than two pelvic thrusts during copulation, i.e. Crunk. Crunk. Sploitch.

"Guy is a two pump chump... the only time he can keep it up for longer than 45 seconds is flogging his dog in the bath."
by KHD August 02, 2003
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2
One who enters the pussy without sufficient stamina to contain the nut butter for more than a few pumps.
by Jesus January 17, 2003
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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3
A male who prematurely ejaculates
"Dave M, is such a two pump chump. that he blows his load before he even see the gold,"
by Spanish Lighting September 27, 2009
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4
A guy who, during sex, can't contain his load for more than two measly thrusts. This leaves the woman shocked and extremely unsatisfied. Such men should either 1. Be shot 2. Kill themselves or 3. Become a priest. Such pathetic actions can evoke a very Angry Beaver.
My ex-boyfriend was a two-pump-chump, that's why he's my EX boyfriend.

I was so wasted last night that I was a two pump chump and passed the fuck out but now my girlfriend has an Angry Beaver.
by Julie is Queen March 14, 2008
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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5
1) when having sex and you only get it in twice before you done!!!!//// Two-Pump!!!!
haaa!!! Alex Nelson is a Two-Pump Chump
by The Twin December 28, 2009
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Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

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6
Any douche who thinks he's got skillz, only to dump his stuff two pumps into it...
"Man, Ashley and I were gettin' it on, she stripped her shirt off, and I dumped my load in my drawers...."
by Chumper December 29, 2003
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7
A man who can not handle sexual interaction for a long period of time. Resulting in premature ejaculation.
Son of a Bitch Cheryl, that guy last night was a two pump chump.

My girlfriend dumped me because I am a two pump chump.

Allan is such a loser. I blew him for like 30 seconds before he came. He's a two pump chump.
by ObviousDailyLingo May 08, 2016
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Cleveland Steamer Plush

The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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