Turtle Fucker 

n. A poorly functioning computer

Person 1: Did you get the email I sent you?
Person 2: No. My computer is being a turtle fucker.

Turtle Fucker by Cookies for Pilgrims May 9, 2009

Turtle Fucker 

A name that is given to any older man, or woman that is hindering your speed, whether you are driving, walking, running (etc.).It is not uncommon for them to possess horrible driving skills, and driving through banks, salons, grocery stores, and gas stations happens more often than not.

Driver: I am going to be late, get out of my way Turtle Fucker!

Grocery Shopper: Move you damn Turtle Fucker and quit staring at the laxatives, it's not that damn hard to decide!

Grocery Shopper #2: It shouldn't take that long to write a check, get some glasses Turtle Fucker!

Grocery Shopper #3: Damn-it Turtle Fucker, no it isn't cheaper than that, quit getting price checks!

Betty drove into the gas station and injured the clerk because she is a Turtle Fucker.

Turtle Fucker by loafenator February 27, 2009

turtle fucked 

when a group of people are sitting around a table, playing a drinking game and one person slams down one bottle of beer on top of the another.bottom of one beer is slamming on the neck of the other beer...causing the beer to foam and the owner of the beer drinking a lot

chris leans over and slams his beer on garrett's and yells "turtle fucked!"

turtle fucked by girlcowboysfan April 28, 2009

Turtlesucker 

A person, place, or thing that sucks on turtles

Wow, that guy is such a turtlesucker!

Turtlesucker by Hamburger Pizza June 26, 2016