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The Instant Hagrid 

Applying superglue to your face before going down on some hairy gash, once removed there lie a glorious beard.
She had such poor personal upkeep that I gave her The Instant Hagrid

I was so appreciative that she didn't shave, because I could achieve The Instant Hagrid

Hagrid Snow bastard of the northern north 

me. a person who looks like Hagrid whos parents weren't married and comes from the north
no hagrid snow bastard of the northern north please stop