moisture-seeking mutton missile

The penis, primed and ready for action.

His moisture-seeking mutton missile exploded forth in a shower of baby batter.

by Jamie Rodger October 20, 2003

mutton dressed up as lamb

An older lady dressed like a skank

Nice piece of ass on that... shame it is a piece of mutton dressed up as lamb

by Vailima January 29, 2016

mutton dressed as dog dirt

An ugly, often old has been, who's trying to look sexy by wearing a short skirt and make up, making a small improvement from the accident she had with the ugly tree

'Ere, Bri, you seen that old bird in accounts in that short skirt? Aye, mutton dressed as dog dirt

by LoonyBob September 10, 2010

Mutton dressed as ham

An alternative to mutton dressed as pig which means the same thing - old, usually fat, unattractive women all tarted up and looking repulsive.

"I went to ladies night at the working mens club on the weekend... there was some mutton dressed as ham I can tell you!"

by HamSandwich2 November 4, 2008

slanty eyed mutton gun

Slang term for a long penis - similar to trouser snake

Mate, I was at the trough in the men’s bathroom and the bloke next to me pulled out his slanty eyed mutton gun. It Made mine look like a shy turtle.

by Nitro_Pedro February 17, 2018

Trouser Love Mutton

The protruding stem within ones drawers used to jack, piss or fuck with.

Mary, would you like to see my thick Trouser Love Mutton, tis worth a look.

by Alan June 17, 2003

mutton bustin

When you shave your pubes, bust on a girl's face, and use the jizz as glue to make mutton chops on the girl's face.

I was mutton bustin on this girl and gave her facial hair.

by Deedledortch May 15, 2015