He might be retarded but he comes with a can opener.
by Pandafister28 January 28, 2021
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When you propel yourself from a high five, plummeting 24 feet and planting your dick firmly in a thimble of ghost pepper infused tobacco sauce, all while executing a perfect split.
In the 1984 olympics Greg Louganis performed the spicy can opener it was rumored that his dick became so hot that; global warming.
by Dr. Helga J.G Fünkhaußer February 17, 2018
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When one gives a hand job with one's non-dominant hand.
I had the aisle seat across from a nun so I tried to be discreet while giving him a left-handed can opener.
by BillyCostigan January 25, 2021
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when you're being pegged in the ass by a vibrating monster dildo while trying to take a shit, but you can't shit because your ass is covered by a dildo. this causes you to vomit up all the shit, and proceed to put it in a jar and freeze it for the next day. used the next morning as a stimulant for sexual arousal and prowess.
person 1: "hey babe, you wanna try the Mississippi Can Opener tonight"
person 2: "sure, just make sure you eat up before"
by MississipiMenace December 22, 2022
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Refers to where you open a can of soup or fish wif a can opener even though said tasty-comestibles container has a built-in pull-tab.
Employing da "redundant can-opener usage" action isn't necessarily always a silly or time/effort-wasting operation --- it eliminates da hazardously-sharp torn-metal edge, and thus it can enable you to more-safely empty out da can's contents without risking cutting yourself (great for if you're having young and therefore-more-easily-injured children helping you prepare da meal), plus it allows you to more-thoroughly clean out da can instead of wastefully leaving a ring of perfectly-edible food inside da slightly-encroaching-into-da-can's-interior rim of da can.
by QuacksO December 30, 2022
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A big hairy greek man with an unusually thick layer of hair surrounding his legs, this is Wog Can Opener's ozone layer. When Wog Can Opener is frightened or salty, large quantities of milk gush from his anus to ward of any toxicity or absorb his victims. One of Wog Can Opener's most prolific traits is the ability to open any metal object with his spiky Wog teeth. Wog Can Opener also hates Jews and intends to eliminate all Asians and Jews from existence, be warned, his bite is lethal and his milk is sour. Wog Can Opener is also a gay AWOLNATION fanboy, if you ever see a Wog Can Opener in real life, make sure you shove your finger up his ass hole or else your teeth with be consumed.
Yo, diggity dawg, I wish I was a Wog Can Opener.
Oh dude same, careful though, with great Wog comes great responsibility.
by BigBoyJesseTheBrick March 27, 2018
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1. that bastard piece of shit occasionally electrical appliance that opens cans or doesn't open cans

Number 2. the only Christmas gift mom gave to your ex
3.the Christmas gift your ex still should not have gotten
4. the only bullshit appliance that you can throw away three times and dig it out of the trash when you need it most and the bastard work
5. the one electrical appliancethat you are glad you did not throw it At your ex because the f**Ucker*** sometimes works
"throw that fucking can opener away!"

"I wish I had thrown that fucking can opener at you! but I'm glad I didn't because I needed to open some peaS and cream of children soup!"

"I've lost the handheld can opener please go dig the fucking can opener out of the garbage...so I can try it again. do you believe after one week of using a handheld can opener the electric fucking can opener workEd"

"go to hell you fucking can opener I am throwing you away now!"

"mom don't buy that asshole a fucking can opener for Christmas he's an idiot and may try to use it; he's ugly buy him a paper bag instead."

"that f****** can opener is possessed!"
by Red one... out May 7, 2014
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