textolepsy

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Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.

Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?

Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.

Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.

Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.

Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.

Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: I've never told that to anyone...

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: ...Mary?

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: Were you texting just now?

Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...

Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!

textolepsy by vinnypod December 7, 2012

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Textolepsy

The condition that results in failure to stay awake during late night text conversations.

Guy 1: I was texting her last night, but she never responded.

Guy 2: Yeah, her textolepsy probably kicked in.

Textolepsy by mr.dk December 22, 2008

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Related Words

Textolepsy • Textilepsy

Textilepsy

When your phone is on vibrate and it goes off when there is no message or you have a lot of texts coming in at any given time.

My phone has textilepsy, it's vibrating more than a dildo having a seizure!

Textilepsy by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010

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No Surprises Wedding

A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.

This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.

You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.

Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.

No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023

Word of the Day on November 8, 2026

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ulzzang

Ulzzang true definition is "best & "face" = best face in korean. They are basically people with above average looks, sometimes with the use of photoshop and haduri who post their pics online, some becoming internet celebrities.

"Hey, see that chick over there? She's pretty enough to be an ulzzang. :D"

ulzzang by `r i k kit t y February 26, 2008

Word of the Day on November 7, 2026

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EBK

EBK stands for "Elite Ball Knowledge." 1 In internet slang, "ball knowledge" originally referred to a deep understanding of football/soccer or basketball, but it has evolved into a broader term for having a highly sophisticated, deep, or niche understanding of any specific topic (such as music, movies, or subcultures).

Person A: "That scene was a direct homage to an unreleased 1982 Japanese indie film."
Person B: "Wow, EBK."

EBK by silwhett November 5, 2026

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Yap Trap

A seemingly endless debate with a idiot

I don't know man im not ready for yap trap stupidity today which always tries to suck you into it

Yap Trap by WolfieSnack November 4, 2026

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Blexas

Texas is categorized as a swing state in presidential elections, but has voted for Republicans more times than for Democrats in recent history. As such, as demographics change political alignments, some Democrats believe that Texas will vote blue, or Democratic, due to their Hispanic and African American voters, who often align themselves with the Democratic Party's liberal wing.

Blexas has been cited as possible in the upcoming decades, but only if Democrats continue to win the Hispanic vote in bigger margins.

Democrat 1: What is your prediction for the 2024 presidential election?
Democrat 2: Well uh, Blexas!
Democrat 1: You've been saying that since 2008 though.

Blexas by Tritonist June 14, 2021

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