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Textile Dysfunction

When your cell phone's anticipatory word feature chooses random and often inappropriate substitutions for an otherwise innocuous text message.
I tried texting my crush about the party but my textile dysfunction asked him about his poopy instead :(
Urban Dictionary Merch

Textile Dysfunction

Inability to maintain lasting performance in clothing, leading to social and psychological consequences. Mizzen+Main has cured thousands of men suffering from Textile Dysfuction in their dress shirts.

Side effects may include bloated self-esteem, excessive confidence, modeling contracts, adoration, winning at everything, and a higher sense of well-being.
Hey man, looks like you've got a bad case of Textile Dysfunction. In other words, you look like shit! Have you heard of Mizzen+Main? They've got a cure!
Textile Dysfunction by Money_Mike_ November 9, 2018

Texticle Dysfunction 

To have difficulties text messaging either due to a jacked up cell phone, network, or just plain sore fingers.
I couldnt text message any of my friends all day long. My phone was not sending any of my text messages. I had a serious case of texticle dysfunction.
Texticle Dysfunction by Railin' October 3, 2008

textil dysfunction

Much similar to erectile dysfunction except it only occurred over text
My boyfriend is no fun over text, it's like he has textil dysfunction or something
More from Urban Dictionary

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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