Verb. When you defecate liquid poo so hard into a seated toilet so hard, the resulting splash covers both of your cheeks and sullies the back of your shirt. The experience is extremely unpleasant and aptly named after a notoriously unpleasant US Senator from Texas.
Bro, after eating one and a half chipotle burritos and chasing them down with four shots of espresso, I Ted Cruzed my girlfriend's toilet and had to throw away my favorite button down shirt.
by Softestalpaca June 14, 2022
Get the Ted Cruz mug.
A sexual position where you ask your partner for consent, and they respond telling you how the Republican Party is being oppressed. You ask again, and they pull down their pants, take a shit on your face. Your partner, if male, proceeds to cut off part of their penis if it isn't already a micropenis, and rape you with their limp, bloody dick. When they ejaculate, they make sure to tell you "you can't abort that precious life it has rights" steals your money, jumps out the window and cuts NASA's budget by half while giving the big banks your money. Never should have had sex with a penguin man.
Wow, I can't believe what's happening to NASA's budget. It looks like they got the Ted Cruz treatment.
by EpicRealityCheck January 23, 2016
Get the Ted Cruz mug.
Stupidity is a lack of intelligence, understanding, reason, or wit. It may be innate, assumed or reactive. The word stupid comes from the Latin word stupere. Stupid characters are often used for comedy in fictional stories
James, a guy: Ted Cruz is stupider than a microwavable chicken nugget.
by DankAssPicklePop July 9, 2022
Get the Ted Cruz mug.
When you get caught in a lie and come up with a lame excuse out of it.
I was sleeping with the neighbor, sorry for Ted Cruzing you into thinking I helped hang her picture.
by Hanali February 19, 2021
Get the Ted Cruz mug.
A man who was born with less than average brain cell count (sub 1000 to be specific), And the Zodiac Killer.
Person 1: "Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer 100%"
Person 2: "for real"
by breakfastskillet June 5, 2022
Get the Ted Cruz mug.
The muddy mixture of excrement and dirt, which has had time to become semi-liquid, making the ground slippery.
"I hurt my knee after stepping on the neighbor's dog's Ted Cruz."
by Szandorxint November 30, 2022
Get the Ted Cruz mug.