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1.
A euphemism for masturbation.

Derived from the much-hated Lebron James and his words to describe his departure from the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bathroom taking my talents to South Beach.
by ghosterizer23 July 09, 2010
 
2.
Taking a huge dump. Named after the infamous LeBron signing scandal, a person who takes his talents to South Beach is taking a shit. See: Dropping the kids off at the pool.
Hey Johnny, can you watch my desk? I'm going to be taking my talents to South Beach.
by El Tren July 21, 2010
 
3.
Masturbation. Explanation:

When you realized you're not going to get sex, you go home and masturbate. Likewise, when you realize you really aren't the best basketball player of all time, and you don't like cold cities, you "take your talents to South Beach".
Hey Bob, you get lucky at the club?

Bob: Nope, imma go upstairs. I'll be taking my talents to South Beach.
by T-MLB July 10, 2010
 
4.
1. Masturbating
2. (lesser known) Deciding to betray one's family and hometown.
Dude, I struck out at the bar, so it looks like I'm going to be taking my talents to South Beach tonight...
by bighoops57 July 09, 2010
 
5.
A euphemism for masturbation, made popular by LeBron James during his "The Decision" (also called the LeBronocalypse) television special.
The NBA is so unbearable I'll be taking my talents to south beach this fall instead of watching any games.
by jcuhomey July 10, 2010
 
6.
1: Masterbation; self-gratifying sexual act

2: F*ck you Cleveland
Ray: Hey dude you wanna hang out tonight, watch the Cavs?

Chris: No, I'm taking my talents to South Beach, sorry bro
by c1scok1d July 11, 2010
 
7.
The act of sexually pleasing oneself or another. The euphemism is inspired by the quote by Lebron James on his "Decision" special.
Lebron: Mom, what are you and Delonte doing?

Gloria: I'm taking my talents to South Beach.
by ESPNspecial July 09, 2010