A conference, a lecture. Mostly used when no one asks anything, but you randomly start talking. You can be serious or faking seriousness for humor, it is used at the end of the last sentence to make the speech seem less serious.
I am more maniac than you think. I have 3 big pillows with 3 different functions that are totally not related to their original function and I can't sleep without them. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
by A kid from yesterday March 19, 2019
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Used in a sarcastic tone when someone has made an obvious "scientific discovery". Derives from the global TED conferences.
Person 1: "I left my water bottle outside in the snow and it froze!"

Person 2: "Really? Maybe you should do a f***ing TED talk about it, surely no one has heard of that before."
by w8w7uh April 12, 2011
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The scientific term for an orgy where all participants have an IQ of over 130
"Hey Jeff, did they invite you to that Ted Talk last week?"

"I scored pretty poorly on my SATs, they didn't let me in"
by VirtualTurtle January 29, 2017
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When Ted Cruz talks you into having an extra marital affair for the purposes of furthering your political career.
I was reluctant to give in, but after a well executed TED Talk, I was more than willing to follow Ted into the broom closet.
by RodgersIsKing March 27, 2016
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Used as a secret word for intercourse as to be used in public spaces without attracting any attention or ire.
Hey man, ted talk last night?

Yeah only a short one, snuck in a quick one after dinner.

Ah man, Ted talks after dinner are the best! *very obvious wink*
by Ted Talker May 30, 2023
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1) A self-important tone used by a TEDtard to explain something obvious or stupid.

2) A manner of interpersonal communication that sounds too practiced or polished, like public speech.

3) Any way of communicating that betrays the speaker's desperation for validation by an audience of people who self-identify as intellectuals.
1) John's TED-talk voice did little to compensate for his lifelong habit of unoriginal thought.

2) Weekly meetings would be less intolerable if Lundberg would quit using that TED-talk voice he must have learned in B school and instead show some humanity.

3) Martha's incessant TED-talk voice stood out like the one Australian accent in the room, only instead of charming it was obnoxious. Her desperation for peer validation was as pathetic as it was irritating to anyone within earshot.
by sheldon hoog December 1, 2017
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A singsongy, patronizing tone used to air your latest mundane idea that you appear to think is some kind of high-brow epiphany.
Your proposed solution to all of the world's problems would leave everybody who isn't a white middle-aged man with a steady job to fend for themselves. Put away the TED-talk voice and go do the math, you pretentious fuck!
by sheldon hoog November 30, 2017
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