Top definition
Noun. A wife who is prepared for anything. Similar to a Swiss Army knife.
"I wish I had some floss."
Wife hands husband some travel size floss!
Wife is obviously a swife.
by Dejemi June 02, 2013
Mug icon

Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

Buy the plush
2
"You won't believe what Laura did for me today. She did my laundry and I came home to a hot homemade dinner."

"You've got yourself a swife."
by JoeRa January 02, 2009
Mug icon

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the shirt
3
SWIFE means a "swapped-wife".
{Knock, knock}

{door opens}

"Hello George! Hello El... Whose this? Where's Eleanor?"

"Eleanor is with a buddy of mine. This is my SWIFE for the week, her name is Sharon."

"Oh. Gee, maybe you could be MY swife sometime?"

"Sure, that is if you got a tasty fox for my husband. Let me get my planner."
by Sex Ed December 27, 2006
Mug icon

Cleveland Steamer Plush

The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

Buy the plush
4
a male, with a penis, whose pubic hair is longer than his penis, which usually tends to be quite small, that the pubic hair is braided or corn rowed.
Warren Sewell, whose penis is very tiny, took his pubic hair and got it swifed
by lennny January 14, 2006
Mug icon

Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

Buy the plush
5
Bill: I Swife that Nikky Cage is a great actor

Joe: You're going to hell
by TkMan326 April 13, 2009
Mug icon

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the shirt
6
Used exclusively as a verb. Derived from "swova."

1. To swear on your life. Similar to "swear to God" or "swova," swife denotes that the speaker is placing a huge amount of credibility on his statement, due to the fact that he has laid his life down as collateral in order to provide credibility.

Used to filter comments in serious situations, where it is imperative that one know whether or not someone is being serious, or just kidding.
Guy #1: Dude, your brother is in the hospital.
Guy #2: Swife? (ie. Do you swear on your life?)
Guy #1: Yes!
Guy #2: !*#@!
by Feenix Crew December 21, 2006
Mug icon

Donkey Punch Plush

10" high plush doll.

Buy the plush
7
A slang term used to call someone a real motherfuckerly, shady, and or cheap ass bastard. Kind of synonymous to a cheapskate but really much worse.
If somebody stiffs you a tip they are a swife piece of shit. If someone comes to your house and eats your last cookie without permission they are a swife ass motherfucker. If someone cuts you off and then tries to brake check you they are swife as fuck.
by Mccrap May 31, 2013
Mug icon

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug