Verb. This means to send a video game character into a spasm by use of the game player doing so on purpose.
To splinch requires an online game or similar, controlled by keyboard, that uses characters that move using the arrow keys, or W,A,S,D, etc. Splinching is where the on-screen character is made to use both animations of two of the keys you press, at the same time, by pressing them simultaneously. this results in the character trying to move in both directions at once, causing a humerous animation.

Splinching can also be performed by use of a glitch. A user can cause the game to send the character into splinching by performing an illegal move.

Present: Splinching. Past: Splinched.
Person 1. "I KEEL YOUU!!"
Person 2. "OH NOES!! U made me splinch nows!"
by Papplemanger August 28, 2008
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Unit of measure for wine, usually a small amount like half a small glass
Dear, would you pour me a splinch?
by Ediggity September 7, 2019
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The one inch piece of flesh between your asshole and your genitalia
I was pumping away on her, and my dick slipped out and bent in half when I hit her splinch.
by The Tatooed Nail Bender February 13, 2004
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Splinching occurs in the planning process when a plan that is being transformed into reality is missing critical elements. Often these are important legal requirements that were put in the plan to mitigate proposed impacts and to make a bad plan pass review with strong opposition. The result often end in dire consequences. Somethings can be fixed, but often there is a mess, and the develpers often wiggle out of them, or ignor the reqirements, because they will be much less pressure to enforce them once the plan is adopted. The problem is often exasperated when when the developer runs out of money and goes bankrupt.

Splinching also occurs during apparition process between when a wizard disparates (disappears) and apparates (appears some where else). Splinching is the unintended spliting of the wizard and results in an incomplete wizard. To undo the problem the Ministry's Accidental Magic Reversal Squad is required.
Activist one: This plan is going through some serious splinching problems. They aren't putting in the environmental safe guards like they promised, and the water coming out of here looks like an LSD experience.

Activist two: Where's the County's Accidental Magic Reversal Squad when you need it.

Activist three: There sound asleep in the bed of the developers.
by mlhiss March 29, 2008
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to be separated.
a reference from Harry Potter, when someone is splinched, some part of their body is split apart because they did not apparate correctly.

:

"man, my smiley face got splinched"
by nungababy February 4, 2009
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Splinching (a combination of the words “spread” and “clinch”) is a flatulating technique. This occurs when one (or more) butt cheeks are spread apart, yet the sphincter is clinched, producing an impressive auditory phenomenon.
Ezekiel: “That was an impressive cheeser, my good man! What’s your secret?”
Jedediah: “Splinching is the key to a distinguished cheek squeak, Big E.”
by grandmasterpapasmurf January 22, 2023
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