A middle-class woman who lives in the suburbs of the U.S. She spends an average of 30 hours a week just driving her kids, who are always still in middle/elementary school, to their little league soccer games.
Usually married. Always too busy to put up with you. Can be seen transporting themselves and their family in either a minivan or a large S.U.V. Her children's needs are far ahead of yours, your children, or hers. But she decides what they need. ALWAYS. They can often be found starting fundraisers to help their kids soccer teams. They often times try to steal money designated for other causes to donate to their childrens' soccer teams. Oftentimes want everyone else to be just like them. Refer to everyone as "neighbor". Will ALWAYS choose Clinton, no matter what they're voting for. May also be seen driving a Volvo, station wagon, etc. Nearly always white, but not always. Have memorized the macarena.
Their children are always overburdened with after-school activities. They also overparent their children to the point that once adulthood sets in, the children will likely not come into contact with the mother for a very long period of time. Although usually, one child becomes another soccer mom, and the cycle repeats.
Are always in constant threat of Iraq, terrorism, and,of course, their children being threatened in any way.
One last note - THEY ARE ALWAYS RADICAL CHRISTIANS. ALWAYS.
Usually married. Always too busy to put up with you. Can be seen transporting themselves and their family in either a minivan or a large S.U.V. Her children's needs are far ahead of yours, your children, or hers. But she decides what they need. ALWAYS. They can often be found starting fundraisers to help their kids soccer teams. They often times try to steal money designated for other causes to donate to their childrens' soccer teams. Oftentimes want everyone else to be just like them. Refer to everyone as "neighbor". Will ALWAYS choose Clinton, no matter what they're voting for. May also be seen driving a Volvo, station wagon, etc. Nearly always white, but not always. Have memorized the macarena.
Their children are always overburdened with after-school activities. They also overparent their children to the point that once adulthood sets in, the children will likely not come into contact with the mother for a very long period of time. Although usually, one child becomes another soccer mom, and the cycle repeats.
Are always in constant threat of Iraq, terrorism, and,of course, their children being threatened in any way.
One last note - THEY ARE ALWAYS RADICAL CHRISTIANS. ALWAYS.
Hey, see that soccer mom over there?
Yeah, the one with the car stickers on her minivan?
Is she the one in sweatpants and a t-shirt representing her kids' school?
Yeah, that one.
Okay, yeah. Let's kill it before it lays eggs.
Dude, too late!
Yeah, the one with the car stickers on her minivan?
Is she the one in sweatpants and a t-shirt representing her kids' school?
Yeah, that one.
Okay, yeah. Let's kill it before it lays eggs.
Dude, too late!
by Kangadrew6969 April 16, 2015
A woman who only lets her kids listen to educational music and causes traffic jams at the local elementary school because they want to make sure their "perfect children" don't get hurt or killed while walking 10 feet to get to the door. Her kids are spoiled brats and act like the little shits they are in public. Soccer moms generally don't have a job, bleach their hair, and drive luxury mini vans. They're referred to as trophy wives as they wear tons of makeup and get their hair bleached once a week to make regular moms like mine feel bad. They don't let their kids use the internet because it's "violent" and "sexual", the kids can only watch PG and G rated movies, and play Minecraft for a video game.
Me: *Listening to Nicki Minaj
Soccer Mom: TURN THAT OFF, MY PRECIOUS BABY DOESN'T NEED TO HERE THAT!!
Me: *Turns it up
Soccer Mom: If you don't turn that off, I'm calling the police
Me: Bitch, shut the fuck up ya nigga!
Soccer Mom: TURN THAT OFF, MY PRECIOUS BABY DOESN'T NEED TO HERE THAT!!
Me: *Turns it up
Soccer Mom: If you don't turn that off, I'm calling the police
Me: Bitch, shut the fuck up ya nigga!
by Vampira Andres April 24, 2018
Middle-class white mother that has nothing better to do with her time than organize her children's extra-curricular sporting activities. Provided for by her husband, she creates an out-of-touch middle class bubble for herself and is very grumpy when anyone disturbs it. In addition to the descriptions already listed, I will add that soccer moms are usually sporting some mid-90s Jennifer Aniston version hair with a lot of clunky preppie jewelry. They are into status symbols; big expensive car, kids performing well, newest trending phone, expensive looking jewelry. Thinks that the term "Soccer Mom" is somehow a compliment and is ditzy enough to put stickers of soccer balls on their back windows.
by Shumado September 5, 2013
Term applying to a suburban housewife who spends most of her time looking after her kids, taking them to and from school, little league sports games, music lessons, etc., in lieu of a career. There are essentially two kinds of soccer moms:
-The bad kind: the one most other soccer mom definitions on this site target. The ones that take rather conservative views and approaches to life, having negative perceptions on most forms of modern music, video games, TV shows that don't feature characters like Spongebob and Mickey Mouse, and any and all signs of non-conformity. The type that feel anything that isn't considered "family friendly" (at least by their standards) should be outlawed.
-The good kind: a soccer mom who hates being such. Chances are that the soccer mom life isn't what they want; either they had bigger dreams and ambitions that never took off or didn't get far, or who convinced themselves they were happy and didn't see the truth until it was too late. Much more tolerant of outside influences and non-family friendly things (so long as no one is forcing them onto their children). Soccer moms like these tend to escape their dull lives by reading romantic-often dirty-novels and frequently getting drunk on wine.
-The bad kind: the one most other soccer mom definitions on this site target. The ones that take rather conservative views and approaches to life, having negative perceptions on most forms of modern music, video games, TV shows that don't feature characters like Spongebob and Mickey Mouse, and any and all signs of non-conformity. The type that feel anything that isn't considered "family friendly" (at least by their standards) should be outlawed.
-The good kind: a soccer mom who hates being such. Chances are that the soccer mom life isn't what they want; either they had bigger dreams and ambitions that never took off or didn't get far, or who convinced themselves they were happy and didn't see the truth until it was too late. Much more tolerant of outside influences and non-family friendly things (so long as no one is forcing them onto their children). Soccer moms like these tend to escape their dull lives by reading romantic-often dirty-novels and frequently getting drunk on wine.
Not all Soccer Moms are stuck up bitches who think their children come before anything and everything else in this world.
by Gaaraofthedamned April 7, 2014
A white suburban mom, from 25 to 50 who refers to her kids as her “Precious Little Angels”, and shields them from reality constantly. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated over PG-13, and they can fuckin forget about watching any R-rated movies. Also not allowed to play any games not rated E. Also not allowed to interact with “the wrong crowd”. This includes, but is not limited to, anyone who isn’t white, anyone who isn’t a fundamentalist Christian, and anyone who doesn’t believe in right-wing bullshit. Also she automatically assumes that anything that isn’t Christian is either atheist or Satanic. She drives a “safe” 45 in a 70 mile per hour zone in her massive minivan or SUV to protect her “Precious Little Angels”, who are still in rear-facing carseats at ages 10 and 12. Usually also a Karen. Will often call the police when something doesn’t go her way or to discipline kids other than her own, and more often than not the cops are on this bitch’s side. If you see her, RUN AWAY AND GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS POSSIBLE.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? YOU WERE DRIVING FUCKING 45 ON A FUCKING HIGHWAY!
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!
SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!
SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)
by qw3r1y March 2, 2023
If you see her, run. If you talk to her, run. If her kid attacks you, expect to be in court. Just stay away from this beast of burden.
''C'mon Dorothy time for soccer practice!''
''Hey mom your a soccer mom''
''Yeah i know.''
''Cool.''
''Karen.''
'EXCUSE ME SWEETY , IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER IM GOING TO TALK TO THE MANAGER ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE MISS.''
''Hey mom your a soccer mom''
''Yeah i know.''
''Cool.''
''Karen.''
'EXCUSE ME SWEETY , IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER IM GOING TO TALK TO THE MANAGER ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE MISS.''
by heretoraidanddestroy September 29, 2020
A soccer mom is an overly-protective mother whose role is to live the life of a child herself. She drive a huge ass SUV. She is usually shallow, ill-informed, self-indulgent, insecure. She assumes that “family value” kids like hers can do no wrong. She has never elevated herself from the high school focus of being popular, being “seen”, being “cute.” Her role in life is to “fit in,” her “thinking” is “cliché driven,” she is “family value” focused, but has no real understanding about what the term means and would be at a loss to try to define it. She feels sorry for those who do not have soccer mom credentials, who have no suv, no hellspawn (children), no “fashionably family valued” family like hers. Her hellspawns are an extension of herself, so she herself is a kid, and she molds them, transports them, educates them to think in the same shallow kid-like way she thinks. She is a “control freak” at heart with a mindset that is shallow and mindlessly routine. She doesn’t have the courage, the depth to express herself outside the “group think” of her soccer mom associates, for as in her high school days, she still seeks esteem from others by being popular, one of the gang. Wars, pestilence, poverty, the environment are issues that pass her by and always will. She is a robot, a child who has grown older but not wiser, an american dream tragedy culture has promoted, not having the depth to see or understand the sickness it has fostered
Me: *listening to Metallica in my 1969 Ford Mustang*
Soccer Mom: *drives to the side of me in a suv*
SM: You turn that awful and satanic garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it to the max*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE PRESENT AND THEY WILL GET CORRUPTED THANKS TO YOU!!!
Me: Fuck off, bitch.
SM: THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING THE POLICE, AND YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS IF I SEE YOUR STUPID CAR! NEWER IS BETTER!
SM: *drives away*
Me: Bye bye asshole..
Soccer Mom: *drives to the side of me in a suv*
SM: You turn that awful and satanic garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it to the max*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE PRESENT AND THEY WILL GET CORRUPTED THANKS TO YOU!!!
Me: Fuck off, bitch.
SM: THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING THE POLICE, AND YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS IF I SEE YOUR STUPID CAR! NEWER IS BETTER!
SM: *drives away*
Me: Bye bye asshole..
by .u January 17, 2020