noun (colloquial)

1. a fart or shart when in polite company.

2. (vulgar) a tramp, whore or otherwise undesirable person. {Anglicised form of Spanish 'puta' or 'puto', meaning whore}

3. (familiar) a trusted friend or confidante {from French 'putain', meaning whore}

verb (colloquial)

1. the act of farting or sharting when in polite company {v. form of noun 1 above}

2. (vulgar) the act of exchange sex for money. {v. form of noun 2 above}

3. miscellaneous behaviours, actions and wanderings, to travel without direction {contracted form of pootle}

1. 'Oh, Lady Hamilton-Gordon, do I detect a hint of the latest Eau-de-Vivre from Chanel about you?'

'Alas, no, Madam Watson-Wentworth, I fear you are smelling my latest poot.'

2. 'I went to M&S to buy a cauliflower, but there were a bunch of old poots standing in front of the vegetable sections for seventy-three minutes, and eventually I caved in and bought a doughnut instead.

3. 'Albert, I bought you a parsnip.'

'Why, Camille, it's just what I wanted. You really are a poot, you know.'


1. 'Good God, Lord Attlee, what was that noise?'

'Dear me, Viscount Primrose, I do believe I've pooted.'

2. 'While I was in town, I bumped into Roxanne, who was pooting around near the chav estate.'

'Ugh, she's always putting on that red light, that woman.'

3. 'While I was in town, I bumped into Sally, who was just pooting around.'

'Poor girl, she's been lost since that bloke from Oasis left her waiting.'
by CochonsurVelo November 29, 2013
An onomatopeic expression that is the only way to describe the noise made when a small rodent spontaneously combusts.
Poot! -mouse bursts into ball of flames-
by Tazar The Yoot July 10, 2008
'pull out on time'

a sexual acronym
"that's why you have a stupid ass baby right now, you need to learn how to p.o.o.t. on a ho like that"
by Matt Huff October 01, 2009
An episode of flatulance that occurs only during defication. The difference between farts and poots are usually the duration and the sound it produces. Farts usually last longer than two seconds. Poots general last only a second, and do not resonate in rapid-fire fashion like farts. Poots are generally the wind that one usually produces when they are straining to push out feces from the rectum.
After a series of poots. Charles was able to push the turd out of his anus.
by Mr. Dwayne May 20, 2005
A a sudden passing of gas that is neither heard or smelled, but can be felt as a bubble in the back of one's jeans.
Sitting in class, Jeremy was glad that no one had noticed him poot, but was still uncomfortable with the gas left in his pants.
by darles chickens January 06, 2010
to 'poot', to let off a 'poot'.
to 'poot' is to politely fart.

a "poot", a polite yet still offensive fart.
I held on for what seemed forever, but a poot still managed its way out.

sorry, I'm afraid I just hooted a 'poot'.

I smell a little poot in this house.

You sir, are a poot.
by Dan<3 September 04, 2006
another name for a fart
becca just pooted.
by samee February 17, 2004

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