An utter mong. A person who feels the need to chip in with random, pathetic and pointless comments or noises. Of which have no real value or credibility to the conversation. Usually these comments which make you a Pooch are completely off topic and just generally force all people listening to temporarily hate the person who chipped in.
Josh: - "Luke, how much work you got left to do?"

Pooch: - "I like waffles" (Ignored)

Luke: - "Not much mate, just a couple more pages"

Pooch: - "I like bicycles" - (Again, ignored)

Josh: - "Pooch would you shut the utter FUCK up."

Pooch: - "Woof"

Josh: - "You truly are an absolute bellend aren't you?"
#bellend #woof #pooch #waffles #fuck
by David.fear.is.a.mong. May 01, 2010
1: A Bassett word, someone who says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

2: A complete & utter doushbag.

3: A straight man who is absolutely gay.

4. A man who cant control his mouth.
1: 'Yeah & then I cummed all on her tits!'
'Cheers son, but me & your mother didn't need to know that'

2: Mate, dont be a Rumbold, he's such a pooch.

3:I'm not gay, I love the Wanted.......

4: That's my missus, leave your comments out
#bassett #doushbag #gay #cummed #rumbold
by Ladybird87 July 15, 2011
A hairy Caucasian, disease filled Vagina. Usually containing herpes or chlamydia.
Mrs. Barbra Bell's hairy pooch was quite stinky today.
#hairy #caucasian #disease #vagina #herpes
by Squasssh April 19, 2011
sitting outdoors in a relaxed position
My friends and I often pooch in the courtyard during our lunch break.
#chilling #relaxing #sunbathing #reclining #lounging
by lunchbox.genius October 07, 2010
A verb meaning to screw something up. As in pooch screw.
You totally pooched your chances of hooking up with her.

The situation is all pooched up.
#screw up #fuck up #mess up #ruin #destroy
by KML234 August 20, 2009
'Pooch' is the lowest insult one can receive. The insult's origin is found in the animal kingdom, with particularly foolish canines being called a Pooch. The word Pooch relates to human beings just as effectively; the insulter making the insultee feel very inferior, much like a small dog.
1.

Pooch- "I just dug a hole. Guess what I did next, James!"
James- "Dude you're 21, grow up."
Pooch- "But James I feel like a prince"
James- "Shut up, pooch."

2.
(Dog walks in with a snail in his mouth)
Dog owner- "Stupid-ass pooch! You be trippin."
#fool #dog #muppet #ijut #bunion
by crazyfool330 September 27, 2009
Noun: Something someone has said that appears to be a lie, usually for the purpose of making them look good

Verb: To pooch - to fabricate lies or exaggerations to make oneself look good

Comes from talking shit i.e chatting poo > poo-chatting > pooching
Mc: Richie said he goes out with a supermodel

D: That's blatant pooch!
#bullshitting #talking shit #chat #lying #exaggerating
by Del the Boy September 28, 2009
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