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16.
Believing unreasonably that you cannot trust other people, or that they are trying to harm you or have a bad opinion of you. also it could be a mental illness.
-Malcolm got really paranoid, deciding that there was a conspiracy out to get him.

-Don't be such a paranoid !
by Todd95i November 12, 2012
 
1.
The condition of believing you're being stalked/hunted/spied on by someone. These stalkers ALWAYS come into one of 4 categories:

1) The Corporation: e.g. Microsoft
2) The Government: e.g. The CIA
3) Independant Stalkers: e.g. Me
4) Aliens: e.g. erm.. Coneheads?

It can also mean that you think everyone in general is against you, or that your friends are talking about/plotting against you behind your back.
"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get me!!"
by John Q Moron December 07, 2003
 
2.
Descriptive Noun. Fourth part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Petra the Paranoid is worried that her boyfriend, Peter the Priapic, is going to cheat on her. Oh, she's just crazy and irrational. The only other people who believe her nutty fear are the Nancy Nurse and Debbie Doctor, who have just finished the report which confirms that Petra has an STD.
by seeker6079 October 26, 2005
 
3.
An illogical fear or suspicion of people, companies or organizations being consciously against you, and the belief that they are constantly trying to "get" you.
"See those people talking over there? There's no other way than that they're spreading rumors about me."

"Oh stop being paranoid, they're just talking."
by Fluid March 07, 2004
 
4.
1)Someone who believes they are being hunted, esp. by everyone.
2)A Black Sabbath album that kicks major ass.
3)A song on said Black Sabbath ablum that kicks major ass.
1)You're always paranoid when you're on acid.
2)I'm gonna listen to 'Paranoid'.
3)You always headbang during 'Paranoid' when you're on pot.
by Psycho Bob September 07, 2003
 
5.
your state of mind when you hear the door bell ring and you suspect the police are outside but it's a girl scout trying to sell some fucking girl scout cookies
*Door Bell Ring*
Paranoid Person: Oh shit. I can hear the cops outside. *flushes eighth of weed down the toilet* *opens door*
Girl Scout: You wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Paranoid Person: FML
by wittyname January 16, 2010
 
6.
The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.
by LayItOnYou March 17, 2007
 
7.
The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.
by LayItOnYou March 17, 2007