"Mother: "Why Jimmy, we're in Missouri!"
I have lived here for only 5 years and I must say...people here are far more civilized than on the west coast (where I grew up)...in Oregon, Washington, California. Missouri is where you go when you want your family to feel safe and have good moral values. We actually know what "America the land of the free" means because we get to experience it daily. No cops hiding behind bushes to pull you over for going one mile over the speed limit. Yes, out here we only get warnings...and thats if your going 10 miles over the speed limit or more. I would never live on the west coast again if only for the fact that the cops are not NATZI's out here in Missouri like they are out west.
The people are great. Sure, some are a little bit red-neckish, but you get rednecks in every state. Take a look at Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. Aren't one of those states trying to outlaw interracial marriage? Come on, now. People in Missouri are friendly and neighborly.
And as for everyone saying that most of Missouri is illiterate... don't you think that's a bit pompous of you? Missouri has one of the best high schools in the country (Clayton High School) and has numerous other good, prestigious private schools. Not only that, but Mizzou has really great programs.
Down-to-earth Missouri girl: You need to shut up. Missouri is a place where people can live and be safe instead of packing plastic 24/7. Us people are real and we don't care if we have an ass or not. We like to live life and have fun!
St. Louis: Has an arch... this was on their state quarter, and on the cover of every tourist pamphlet that highlights the state. You would think that seeing a big arch that is best viewed on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River is the most exciting thing about Missouri, and you would be right.
Kansas City: This city is known for absolutely nothing to the general U.S. population. Yes Kansas City people talk about having jazz and bbq, but other cities have these too. Texas has better bbq and New Orleans has better jazz... I think more people actually associate Utah with Jazz than KC.
Branson-Springfield-Bumblefuck: The G rated version of Las Vegas, it is without everything that makes Vegas awesome. You would probably only have fun there if you are under 6, over 80, or waiting for the rapture.
Jefferson City: This is the capital of MO. There are no interstate highways leading to it (seriously, how does that happen?), and it was just discovered to be a real place in 2004.
The Bootheel: Ever wonder what that geographical oddity is in the southeast corner of the state? Neither did I, but it is called the "bootheel". No need to visit this area, just visit the website “People of Wal-Mart” if you are really curious about what this place is like.
Rest of Missouri: Farms.
Ted: Where would we go?
Bill: The arch!
Ted: That would take an hour of our time, what else would we do?
Bill: Shit, I dunno... never mind, let's go to Illinois instead.
Guy 2: No, isn't it full of rednecks?
Guy 1: Nope, only the south.