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15.
Another spelling of the word "Misery"
Missouri, misery, they're both the same thing.
by boylesque March 30, 2010
55 110
 
16.
the Black Hole.

come here and see for yourself.

you'll want to leave, but you can't.

stay away. far away.
Man Missouri is such a black hole. I moved here from Phoenix and now I can't leave! WTF?!
by Elisa Execution November 09, 2008
84 139
 
17.
We sure do love Missouri. Thing is though, we've never left. Everything youd ever need is right here in our big ole' state. On family vacations, we go to branson. When we need a drug fix, we just go next door and get our daily dose of methamphetamine from buck. he sure knows how to cook it. we have 13 kids and one on the way. aged from 3 months to 30 years old, all with different last names...here we go: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, the twins: tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene. we sure do love our childs, and we have 86 grandchilds. our doublewide is chocked full of people. we also have 19 dogs, 36 cats, and two fish. we also have a new goat. if you ever want to see somewhere beautiful, you should see the sun set over our pot field. its wonderfully romantic (thats where 11 of our children were conceived). need a vacation? y'all come see us now, y'hear?
We all wear matching shirts when we go to branson, missouri & we always have to take roll when we go to and from walmart and mcdonalds.

Jedidiah: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene?

Lou ann: here.
jed jr: sure thang.
Jed 3: huh?
ray: my nose is bleedin.
bobbi ray: daddy whatchu doin?
billy jean: you best shutup boy.
billy jo: im gonna hit you in the head if you dont quit it.
trixie: wheres my cigs daddy?
tammy ray: here.
tammy fay: present.
linda kay: who ate a quarter pound of my angus?
peggy sue: daddy, MY BABYS COMIN!
earlene: holy crap! that doesnt look like the movies,

peggy sue. that looks like an alien!
by Jed & Marva June 11, 2009
85 154
 
18.
The "Quit Bitching" state. If you're tired of life wherever you are, move to Missouri for a year. (Don't hassle yourself with residency-- they give you a trailer when you enter the state.)
If you make it back out, your outlook on life wherever you are will be much brighter.
"Ugh, I hate Kansas! There's nothing to do here... I wish it were more like the OC!"
"I happen to like it here..."
"Ew, what's WRONG with you?"
"I was born in Missouri."
"...I'm so sorry."
by Nurm August 24, 2008
88 178
 
19.
What a joke. Should be pronounced "Misery". That describes the state well. I lived in STL for 10 "Missourable" years. Glad to be gone. all you rednecks and Rush Limbaugh lovers can have it.
Unless you're from the Midwest, Missouri is a place to avoid at all costs. Death would be a relief.
by fungooliwabasa April 18, 2006
88 182
 
20.
A 69,709 square mile trailer park with representation in Congress. A government land reservation for the mentally defective and socially inept. Conceptually similar to the portable classrooms outside of a high school where the "special needs" students are segregated from the students who have a fighting shot at success in life. Missouri is the twenty first largest state in the United States. According to the 2007 Census Bureau, Missouri is home to approximately six million people. Almost one thousand of these people are literate.
John: Did you hear that the EPA is going to give the Earth an enema?

Jane: No I didn't. Where will they stick the hose?

John: Columbia, Missouri.
by nat'lchampionof2008 February 23, 2009
97 194
 
21.
You are the second worst state in America, the worst being Illinois. (Illinois is the HIV on the Midwest. Missouri is the gonorrhea on the same region. Contrary to the movie "Annapolis," Arkansas and Mississippi are NOT the second worst, and worst, respectively, states in the US.) Missouri is the present-day home of that conservanazi bitch/twat/cunt/whore Phyllis Schlafly who fought against the Equal Rights Amendment, although from 03/22/1972 to 06/30/1982, when the ERA was alive, she was an Illinois resident.

Missouri did not ratify the ERA, along with fourteen other states, but that has not stopped these unhygienic Missourian scumbags from openly teaching in their subprime public educational system that the 14th Amendment covers biological sex, which it DOES NOT cover. You cannot have it both ways, hoMOs.
Missouri is home to an arch, called the Diaphragm, I mean, Properly Fitted Condom, I mean, Gateway Arch. I guess it represents Missouri as a gateway to an STD-ravaged Missourian bitch who uses a diaphragm to protect her reproductive tract despite being a typical dirty Missourian, or as a gateway to an STD-ravaged Missouri hoMO's rectum which you would want to use a condom to penetrate, if at all.
I think we should now reject out-of-state applications to higher education from graduates of Missouri high schools. They cannot teach civics for shit, so what else are these hoMOs screwing up?
by All missouri males are hoMOs August 10, 2010
43 145