15
Missouri is a planet onto its own. It doesn't know if it is midwestern or southern, and nobody from either region really cares about them. Missouri does have many diverse regions.

St. Louis: Has an arch... this was on their state quarter, and on the cover of every tourist pamphlet that highlights the state. You would think that seeing a big arch that is best viewed on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River is the most exciting thing about Missouri, and you would be right.

Kansas City: This city is known for absolutely nothing to the general U.S. population. Yes Kansas City people talk about having jazz and bbq, but other cities have these too. Texas has better bbq and New Orleans has better jazz... I think more people actually associate Utah with Jazz than KC.

Branson-Springfield-Bumblefuck: The G rated version of Las Vegas, it is without everything that makes Vegas awesome. You would probably only have fun there if you are under 6, over 80, or waiting for the rapture.

Jefferson City: This is the capital of MO. There are no interstate highways leading to it (seriously, how does that happen?), and it was just discovered to be a real place in 2004.

The Bootheel: Ever wonder what that geographical oddity is in the southeast corner of the state? Neither did I, but it is called the "bootheel". No need to visit this area, just visit the website “People of Wal-Mart” if you are really curious about what this place is like.

Rest of Missouri: Farms.
Bill: Hey let's go to Missouri on vacation.

Ted: Where would we go?

Bill: The arch!

Ted: That would take an hour of our time, what else would we do?

Bill: Shit, I dunno... never mind, let's go to Illinois instead.
by Flick507 May 08, 2011
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16
We sure do love Missouri. Thing is though, we've never left. Everything youd ever need is right here in our big ole' state. On family vacations, we go to branson. When we need a drug fix, we just go next door and get our daily dose of methamphetamine from buck. he sure knows how to cook it. we have 13 kids and one on the way. aged from 3 months to 30 years old, all with different last names...here we go: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, the twins: tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene. we sure do love our childs, and we have 86 grandchilds. our doublewide is chocked full of people. we also have 19 dogs, 36 cats, and two fish. we also have a new goat. if you ever want to see somewhere beautiful, you should see the sun set over our pot field. its wonderfully romantic (thats where 11 of our children were conceived). need a vacation? y'all come see us now, y'hear?
We all wear matching shirts when we go to branson, missouri & we always have to take roll when we go to and from walmart and mcdonalds.

Jedidiah: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene?

Lou ann: here.
jed jr: sure thang.
Jed 3: huh?
ray: my nose is bleedin.
bobbi ray: daddy whatchu doin?
billy jean: you best shutup boy.
billy jo: im gonna hit you in the head if you dont quit it.
trixie: wheres my cigs daddy?
tammy ray: here.
tammy fay: present.
linda kay: who ate a quarter pound of my angus?
peggy sue: daddy, MY BABYS COMIN!
earlene: holy crap! that doesnt look like the movies,

peggy sue. that looks like an alien!
by Jed & Marva June 11, 2009
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17
A 69,709 square mile trailer park with representation in Congress. A government land reservation for the mentally defective and socially inept. Conceptually similar to the portable classrooms outside of a high school where the "special needs" students are segregated from the students who have a fighting shot at success in life. Missouri is the twenty first largest state in the United States. According to the 2007 Census Bureau, Missouri is home to approximately six million people. Almost one thousand of these people are literate.
John: Did you hear that the EPA is going to give the Earth an enema?

Jane: No I didn't. Where will they stick the hose?

John: Columbia, Missouri.
by nat'lchampionof2008 February 23, 2009
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18
Another spelling of the word "Misery"
Missouri, misery, they're both the same thing.
by boylesque March 30, 2010
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19
The "Quit Bitching" state. If you're tired of life wherever you are, move to Missouri for a year. (Don't hassle yourself with residency-- they give you a trailer when you enter the state.)
If you make it back out, your outlook on life wherever you are will be much brighter.
"Ugh, I hate Kansas! There's nothing to do here... I wish it were more like the OC!"
"I happen to like it here..."
"Ew, what's WRONG with you?"
"I was born in Missouri."
"...I'm so sorry."
by Nurm August 24, 2008
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20
Misery. Seriously sound it out, Miss-or-ee. It relates to the state Missouri because it is in the middle of fucking no where. It has no beaches. People don't know if its in the fucking south or mid-west because they act hickish but they aren't south.
I'm pretty much in misery living in Missouri. PS. I'm not trying to offend a lot of ppl. I just don't like that state but that doesn't mean my opinon matters. Make up your own and go there.
by jersey kid November 19, 2007
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21
What a joke. Should be pronounced "Misery". That describes the state well. I lived in STL for 10 "Missourable" years. Glad to be gone. all you rednecks and Rush Limbaugh lovers can have it.
Unless you're from the Midwest, Missouri is a place to avoid at all costs. Death would be a relief.
by fungooliwabasa April 18, 2006
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