Melbourne (noun)

The second largest city in Australia, and the capital of the state Victoria. They spend most of their time complaining about Sydney and Adelaide. It is also home to the Yarra river, which is also known as the upside down river due to the fact it's dirty, smelly and awful.

It rains most of the time in Melbourne, although most of the residents are too snobbish to admit it.
Person from Melbourne: My city is better than YOURS! Adelaide is a hole and Sydney is an urban jungle.

Person from Adelaide: A hole? What, you haven't seen Burnside and North Adelaide?

Person from Sydney: At least our architecture actually looks good.

See also: yuppie
by Windscreenwiper November 30, 2007
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Absolute shithole, you can find it in Victoria, and because its in pom land there are lots of stabbings shootings and Rangas out to steal your sunscreen, to much fucking traffic, it takes 4 hours to get to fucking maccas and even thats just 4 km away, absolute shithole, once again full of pigmies
Guy 1: should we go to Melbourne

Guy 2: fuck that shithole lets go to the middle of fucking nowhere
by Mika Job October 22, 2020
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An Australian city down in the South.

Engaged in a constant battle of superiority with Sydney, that most likely started when they were choosing the capitol city of Australia. (Neither won.)

Probably most know for its enthusiastic population of AFL supporters. (Avoid Collingwood fans)
Friggin hot in Summer, if you go bring an air conditioner.

If you are American you will be tempted to pronounce it 'Mel-buuuuuuurn.' Please don't.
Guy 1: "Mate, going down to Melbourne for the AFL finals! Collingwood vs Richmond! YYYEEEEEAAAAAH"

Guy 2: "Dude, look out for those bogan Collingwood supporters"

Guy 1: "Sure thing!"

*manly hug and clap each other's backs*
by Tigersgirl March 11, 2011
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Melbourne is the second largest city and the second best
When you drive into Melbourne on the Hume Hwy, you are 10km from the City and you're in the middle of a paddock! Melbourne is ugly, dirty and has a delightfully beautiful river passing through the middle, yeah that can compare with beautiful Sydney harbour? Get over that World's Liveable City thing all 5 Australian cities made it in the top 10....and who in the world knows anything about Melbourne....when people from other countries think about Australia they think about Sydney....Melbourne is only the place for you if you like GAYFL
hey melbourne, you know you wanna come here on new years!
by braaahh3 November 20, 2007
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A city in Australia where people still think it is the height of sophistication (and oh so European...) to drink a coffee at a table in the street.

Consequently there are more coffee machines per square metre than anywhere else in the universe.
Sydney person: What is your favourite thing to do on a Sunday?

Melbourne person: Just sit & have a coffee & read the paper. What do you do?

Sydney person: Oh I go surfing, fishing, scuba diving, bushwalking...
by herring March 13, 2012
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The state capital of Victoria, Australia Melbourne is a dark, dirty, mangy shithole.

Demographic; moisturising, manscaping, sandal wearing metrosexual pseudo fags.
A town where a broke as fuck 30 year old uni student wearing a skivvy with sandals is held in higher esteem than an accomplished and successful tradesman,
Spiritual home of the Bogan,
A stinking filthy river flowing through the guts of it,
The people from there claim to be well educated, cultured and globally aware but all they seem to do is bitch and moan about others, narcissism reigns supreme.
In a nutshell the only two good things about Melbourne are Carlton Draught and the Hume Hwy northbound.
"Glad to get the fuck away from that shithole, the whole town is 'the secret life of us' and full of cunts that look like that little queer bloke in the YOUI insurance adds".

"Dont walk around in Melbourne alone at night, you'll get glassed by bogans or robbed by a junkie".
by turbodiesel March 25, 2010
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Australia's number one city in pretty much everything.
Especially in sports and entertainment.

Melbourne is the capital of Victoria, with currently 3.8 million people. It is set to overtake Sydney as Australias largest city in 2028.

it is so much better then Sydney, which is so congested and full of homos (literally - its got the most homos of any other city in Australia). Sydneysiders often bag Melbourne for being 'wet' when in fact Melbourne has less rain then sydney - its true!
"Melbourne is the coolest city in the world!"
"Adelaide is such a hole... i wish i lived in Melbourne"
by Melbourne is AwesomE! April 12, 2008
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