Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas were born in the hospital in Disneyworld, during the gay pride parade. They were born as triplets, however the last two were born a few years later. After her mother was done giving birth to Nick, she killed herself after realizing she wasted 5 years of her life in a hospital. Their father, knowing that he was an incompetent unemployed drunk, dropped them off at the nearest church.

The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.

When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.

The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.

Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.

The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.

Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
"The Jonas Brothers are the worst thing to ever walk the earth. What a waste of space and skin."
by trust me, you dont want to kno August 21, 2008

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An adjective used to describe a male who is a total pussy.
"Dude, look at Scott over there."
"What a fucking Jonas Brother."
by TimPestilence July 25, 2009

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A really overrated mainstream.. Ah screw it, they just suck so much, they dont need a definition. they suck, period. they dont have talent, the guitarists suck, the drummer sucks, and the trio is gay, they have threesomes every Saturday. They just pretend to like "hot girls", but they're really gay. That loser whos dating Selena Gomez is a closet case, obviously.

Majority of Jonas fans are 8 - 13 year old girls who think if something is popular, it's good. and they also think that if a band's members are ugly, they suck.

The fans are stupid, and are usually bashed by Guns N' Roses fans. They tend to hate on us and say things like Slash being gay and Axl Rose being ugly and that they suck cause they're old, but in reality: they do suck. NOW. They rocked hard in the late 80s early 90s but not anymore.

They also hate anything that is not of 2007, and when comparing Beatles to JB, they say Beatles are a bunch of old dead people from the 1930s (someone actually said this) and to old rock fans, they tell us "Get with the times." No, I dont wanna get with the times when most music of "the times" is shit.

One last thing: THIS BAND IS NOT ROCK. FACE IT, IT'S GAY MAINSTREAM POP. ROCK HAS GUITAR SOLOS, GOOD RIFFS, TALENT.
average jonas fan: OMFG THE JONAS BROTHERS? THE ARE SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like nick is the absolute hottest LULZ. he's a good christian boy. he would never go out with that skank Miley. OMFG hold on!!! they're song just came on disney radio!!!! LMAO. OMFG


*actual quote, im not even kiddin*
by jermomsucksmydick August 05, 2008

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A crap, overated band. They are only famous for being on the Disney channel all the time, and no, I don't watch Disney Channel, my little 7 YEAR OLD sister does, and I know some of their songs because my sister likes them. They started off as an okayish Christian band but are now a pathetic pop band that sing off-key, the oldest one must be about 18 and his voice is STILL developing and he sings like an 11 year old. All of there songs are about Looovvveeee and girls. It doesn't take much talent to write 15 songs about girls. Oh, and they've coppied about 3 of their songs from Busted.

They also call themselves 'Rockstars' when their music is bubblegum pop.

Please understand that not ALL preteens like them, I've hated them since I heared them on Disney Channel at 11...
Stupid slut teen/preteen: LIKE OMG! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEK! LIKE, I'M GOING TO SEE THE JONAS BROTHERS! I TOTALLY LOVE NICK!

Person with decent taste in music: Fuck off, go listen to real music.

Jonas Brothers:Uh Uhhh WoahG irl I wanna kiss you Oh Yeahhhh ohh baby you tell me that you love meeee yeaahhh ohhh uh ohhhh Ohh Uh-Uh *chokes*
by .Sara=] February 26, 2008

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One of the most terrible bands of our time. Never compare them to other acclaimed bands like Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Cheap Trick, U2, etc. If annoying fangirls compared them to any to the bands mentioned above, they all must be joking.
Fangirl: The Jonas Brothers reminded me of Cheap Trick because of their gutar solos.

Me: I DON'T THINK SO!
by Tarrank October 31, 2009

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Is the worst insult ever, worst ''music'' worst everything.
To suck, stink.
Girl1: Slut!!
Girl2: Jonas Brothers!!
Girl1: *gasp* *slap*
by Auroraa May 31, 2008

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The quintessence of faggotry. Possible target for assassination. Worst music of all time which promotes stupidity.
Teacher:"Give me a sentence for quintessence Johny."

Johny:"The Jonas Brothers are the quintessence of faggotry."

Teacher:" Excellent! A+!"
by Manwithamilliondollars October 29, 2008

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One of the four members of the Jonas Brothers "music" band. As sellouts, they have absolutely no talent and only appeal to 9-15 year old girls.
12 Year old girl;
1. OmG! i LoVe thE JonAs BroThErs!!! TheY'Re SooOO HaWt!!



Aboutanyone else;
1. see's jonas brothers on tv: Fuck, wheres the remote???

2. Bob: So when do you think the Jonas brothers start making REAL music?
Jerry: They cant, they dont have any talent.
by Earthling 12345476586646876798 February 28, 2009

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