The second-worst band in the world, for a reason that Naked Brothers Band already has that place.

I mean, seriously. They moan at every word on some songs*, some of their songs are offbeat", and they just plain plagiarize the good songs of yesterday^.

With a fan base of 7-16 year old females (averaging 15) they have a shitty fan base made up of screams of terror like the JBs are molesting them.
*Hold On
"Play My Music (It starts changing melody in the chorus)
^Kids of the Future (I mean, c'mon.) and their newest hit, Take on me (Dare to sing low when you haven't broken your voices yet?)

eugh..... Jonas Brothers
by Eugh..... October 20, 2008
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Fag Bags, also known as the "Ho Bros"
guy 1: wow look at them fag bags...

guy 2: yeha there a bunch of ho bros

guy 3: fucking Jonas Brothers, they should suck my cock

guy 2+1: theyve probobly been there and done that
by Fahh-Q July 7, 2010
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A gayband that recently gained fame, mostly through Disney; especially popular with preteen-young adult females(surprisingly). Most girls that are self-proclaimed fans are usually legally insane, mentally retarded, or just a plain Cockhead.
Many disagree that all three are gay, but it's been recently proven that they are. The proof- Joe Jonas broke up with Miley Cyrus after finding out she is a female(legally anyway) and realizing that since Miley is a he, he couldn't have a gay foursome with her and his brothers.
Preteen Girl: Oh my goood! Did you see the Jonas Brothers on Hannah Montana?
Random Male: Hell no, the Gayass brothers suck. So does Ciley Myrus.
Preteen Girl: It's Miley Cyrus.
Random Male: Who gives a damn, they're all gay fucks that Disney dished out for the retards.
Preteen Girl: Whatever. I'm going.
Random Male: Yeah you better go back to the insane asylum or something cause you actually enjoy those Gayass Brothers and that Dingy Wig girl.
by Up4Ownage January 14, 2009
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One of the worst bands in history that is suddenly the greatest band of all time. If people want to find out what good music is, go listen to "Ride the Lightning" (Metallica), "The Gallery" (Dark Tranquility), "Ascendancy" (Trivium), any Megadeth, Slayer, or In Flames album.
#1: Boy, that horrible pop rock band Jonas Brothers sucks.
#2: Yep. Hey, did you get that new Amon Amarth or Trivium album yet? Now that's real music!!
by Unknown3456 January 8, 2009
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Just the sight of the Jonas Fuckers makes every guys (even gay guys) scrotum retract into their body, the "band" consists of 3 hermaphrodites who are named Fagola, Fagzilla and Fagazoid who are really good at attracting 9 year old girls because of their spray on looks and photoshopped pictures. The Jonas Fuckers are shitty guitarists and basically the worst thing that has ever happened to Gibson making me want to go chuck mine off of a cliff and then burn it. A common misconception about this so called "band" is that they have any talent at all, another screw up by disney to get little children into their park so they can molest them.
Fagola- "Let's go pound our faces into the keyboard and the result will be our next Jonas Brothers song"
Fagazoid- "I'm going to shove a jelly bean in your asshole, i'd use my dick but it's not big enough"
Fagzilla- "I DO COCAINE!!!"
by ozfox July 21, 2010
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Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas were born in the hospital in Disneyworld, during the gay pride parade. They were born as triplets, however the last two were born a few years later. After her mother was done giving birth to Nick, she killed herself after realizing she wasted 5 years of her life in a hospital. Their father, knowing that he was an incompetent unemployed drunk, dropped them off at the nearest church.

The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.

When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.

The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.

Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.

The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.

Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
"The Jonas Brothers are the worst thing to ever walk the earth. What a waste of space and skin."
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