Our savior
Who died on the cross to save us from our sins.
The one who keeps my faith alive.
I say to myself that everythings going to be okay, because of Jesus.
by peaceiseverything March 18, 2010
a kick ass superhero.
person 1 "holy shit is that jesus, how is he not sinking"
person 2 "he can walk on water dipshit"
by fourway March 16, 2010
The second coming is here! Jesus is back in the form of Joel Zimmerman aka deadmau5!! We are saved!!
Jesus is back bitches!!
by Rellik Uzi August 18, 2010
A nice guy who taught love, kindness, tolerance, etc. Sacrificed himself because we're all giant penises. Now people claim to follow his teachings, but just screw them over.
Oh look, there's Jesus over there! The world's gonna end.
by Poop N Scoop July 05, 2005
He was God in a human form. He came to earth to recieve the punishment that everybody else deserved. He did so, and anybody who recieves the sacrifice is a Christian.

Many non-Christians hate him because he asks for some submission in return.
Guy:Do you know Jesus?
Guy2:I know of Jesus
Guy:What do you think of Jesus?
Guy2:He was an idiot
Guy2:Because he asks for obedience, just because he died on some tree.
by Noogahoogah October 03, 2009
the original zombie
dude jesus died on a cross and came back 3 days later
by jren15 April 10, 2012
A Mexican male name of both Hebrew and Spanish origin. Pronounced "hey-zeus".

Jesus' are often times shy, guarded, and like to keep to themselves. However, when they find motivation to do something, they are the least shy people of all. Once comfortable with someone, although still guarded, they will open up a bit more.

They are known for their masculine looks and exasperated sighs. They are characterized by strong arm and bicep muscles which many find useful when pulling a woman in for a kiss. The skin of a Jesus is constantly warm to the touch unless they are outside for long periods of time in inappropriate clothing, such as at a high school football game in the end of October in a light jacket.

When they have a bad feeling about something, some may stay up throughout the night until they get bad new, like a phone call from a crying friend.

When a Jesus finds a girl, always a beauty in their eyes, there will either be terrible heartbreak or wondrous love. He will one day find a girl that adores his smiles and will get lost in his eyes. When they embrace, she'll wonder what has taken her so long to find this person. Both will realize just how much they love each other and how much they both want to spend the rest of their lives together.

When they no longer hold back, they become a great listener, a caring best friend, and a tender lover. Anyone who gets to know them for who they really are will either fall in love with them, or wish that they had him as a best friend.
I'm completely in love with my Jesus, who gives me affectionate kisses and holds me in his arms until I fall asleep.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Jesus, my best friend until the end.

Will you marry me, Jesus?

I can always count on Jesus to remember a certain moment that means a lot to them for years and years, possibly for the rest of him life. Certain objects, such as an AC/DC jacket, arcade tokens from a first date, or even a girl's dolphin necklace, are triggers for memories that sometimes keep him up at night.

Even though his family is bothersome to him, he is loyal and compassionate about every single one of them. He never lets a birthday go forgotten or unrecognized.
by DyingMelodies October 27, 2013

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