1) N. A mythical creature invented to control the weak. See, boogie man.
2) E. Something you scream when you hit your thumb with a hammer.
3) A hispanic man.
2) E. Something you scream when you hit your thumb with a hammer.
3) A hispanic man.
by ArtieLange'sRottenLiver November 8, 2007
The protagonist in the second half of best selling fiction novel The Bible written by the award winning author God (a.k.a Boss Mann). During Jesus' journeys, he encountered many challenging tasks, such as turning water into wine, and walking on water. Jesus had to use his cunning and wit to overcome these seemingly impossible tasks. Jesus' life came to a sudden stop when his own people nailed him to a cross. The ending took many God's fans by surprise, as it was unlike him to kill off the main character. God argued that it added emotion to the story. However, the fans were not pleased, so God re-wrote the ending, with Jesus coming back to life to tell everyone it was all gonna be OK. The fans seemed contented. Jesus did not appear in any more of God's hit novels, though in an interview for Time Magazine, God revealed:
"Oh that wasn't the last we'll be seeing of the rebellious rapscallion" *chuckles*
Due to some name and copyright claims, the writing credit was taken from God and given to a group of Jews who claimed they knew a guy called Jesus. This was later found out to be a scam, and the four friends heavily altered the chapters. But God merely laughed and said
"Why not? It's not like people are going to take the book seriously anyway"
"Oh that wasn't the last we'll be seeing of the rebellious rapscallion" *chuckles*
Due to some name and copyright claims, the writing credit was taken from God and given to a group of Jews who claimed they knew a guy called Jesus. This was later found out to be a scam, and the four friends heavily altered the chapters. But God merely laughed and said
"Why not? It's not like people are going to take the book seriously anyway"
Chapter 17: The Reawakening
"Jesus sat up on the rock, feeling a bad bump on his head, and a sharp pain in his wrists and torso. It was dark, and he could feel the damp, heavy air around him. He suddenly remembered everything. He swore loudly, before taking a swig from his hip flask. He considered revenge, but reconsidered. He looked at his Rolex. It was only Saturday. He decided to go back to sleep for a while..."
"Jesus sat up on the rock, feeling a bad bump on his head, and a sharp pain in his wrists and torso. It was dark, and he could feel the damp, heavy air around him. He suddenly remembered everything. He swore loudly, before taking a swig from his hip flask. He considered revenge, but reconsidered. He looked at his Rolex. It was only Saturday. He decided to go back to sleep for a while..."
by vision711 August 13, 2009
Billy: Mike, you *bleepin'* *bleep*, haven't seen you in 10 *bleepin'* years! How you been?
Mike: Well Billy, I'm actually a Christian now... and a pastor at that!
Billy: Well I'll be damned!
Mike: You don't have to Billy, Jesus can save you!
Mike: Well Billy, I'm actually a Christian now... and a pastor at that!
Billy: Well I'll be damned!
Mike: You don't have to Billy, Jesus can save you!
by Mr. Goodbar X85 August 30, 2008
by Allie, that Greek kid. December 6, 2006
by Sammy The Giant Mammory Gland June 14, 2009
Nice guy, with good ideas. Often called "Jeebus" in jest. Stressed kindness and forgiveness towards others, and leading an all-around good, virtuous life. One of the most interesting philosophical thinkers in history, and certainly one of the most quoted. Also, as seen on urbandictionary.com, he's apparently a lot of people's homeboys.
I'm not sure if he necessarily wanted his followers to condemn other faiths, or tell people that "If you don't believe in God, you'll burn in Hell, and I don't want that, so please please please believe in God", as in the case of "Read the bible and learn" who posted an earlier definition. He preached of mankind's free will, so I don't think he wanted that being taken away from us...
Anyways, he was a man who lived a truly moral and virtuous life. Christians see him as a god, non-Christians either see him as a prophet or a moral person who lived a good life, stoners see him...all the time... and UD Christians see him as a "homeboy"
I'm not sure if he necessarily wanted his followers to condemn other faiths, or tell people that "If you don't believe in God, you'll burn in Hell, and I don't want that, so please please please believe in God", as in the case of "Read the bible and learn" who posted an earlier definition. He preached of mankind's free will, so I don't think he wanted that being taken away from us...
Anyways, he was a man who lived a truly moral and virtuous life. Christians see him as a god, non-Christians either see him as a prophet or a moral person who lived a good life, stoners see him...all the time... and UD Christians see him as a "homeboy"
by Atticus April 24, 2005
I am tired of everyone bitching and arguing about what color Jesus was. HE WAS NOT BLACK OR WHITE HE WAS MIDDLE EASTERN!!!!!!!! By the way middle eastern people are more closely related to white people so stop being asswipes! HE WASN'T BLACK
by superninjapenguin March 2, 2007