267
1.me; your heavenly savior.
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
i am your savior; the lord-JESUS CHRIST!
by Nicole, your savior July 23, 2008
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268
Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
hey lets go pray to JESUS and then make fun of minorities!!!
by Jon is beasto August 12, 2009
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269
1. An exclamation of recieving or nearly recieving a curse from above.

2. An accusatory statement or excuse for delivering or doing evil.

Background:

In Hebrew the word Hsus is horse, through translations from the Greek eh-sus became the modern Jesus.

The prophets predict that God would send a devine punisher horse (Hsus) if the Israel nation (Jews are a tribe of) fell and did not do the law that Moses delivered.

A horse that was born from the word via the consequences of rebelion against doing the law. (In hebrew rebelion is Mry - thus concieved from rebelion). If they did the law, there would be no horse.

It is written chose life or chose death, chose a blessing or chose a curse. Most of this hinges around a single God prohibiting the worship of more than one God or representing God as a man or woman form as well as anything below the seas, on the land or in the heavens.

Jesus however is claimed to be an incarnation man-form of God.

Jesus had no power of his own, but recieved it through a bolt of lightning in the shape of a dove when he went down into the valley of the dead. In contrast Moses walked up a mountain and had to remove his shoes because the land was holy ground and was not struct by lightning.

Jesus is also represented as a dead first begotten son (Israel) on a capital punishement cross.

Jesus only collected the fallen Jews (sinners and law breakers), to, as he put, it "burn up the chaf", "to bring war" and "to put an axe to the root of Israel".

He clearly states in correction of those who think he is the Messiah to bring peace, ingather the dispersed Jews and unite them preventing the temple fall, "I have not come to bring peace."

All of the things he states he is bringing are listed in the curses of the Old Testament and not in the messianic prophecies. The fall of the Temple that happened shortly afterwards is also in the curses.

The curses that Jesus is claimed by modern day followers to have been paid for in full and illiminated. Thus today you can hear people exclaim at the sight of what use to be considered a curse - "Jesus".
"Jesus!, how the hell can you say that about Jesus. I never read that he came to bring war."

"Jesus! its the cops pulling me over. I think I drank way too much."..."Help me God. Oh my God get me out of this".

"Jesus Christ! buddy. How could you be that ignorant? Are you touched in the head of something?"

"Jeeezzzusss! that lightning bolt was awfully close."

"What the b'Jesus! a bee flew up my arm sleeve and keeps stinging me."

"Jesus H Christ, bubba I just shot myself in the foot"

"Jesus made me do it. I hear his voice in my head so I done the bitch like he told me."

"Jesus, I'm Jesus dont you see?"

"Jesus Christ! thats freaky, this machine press malfunction almost took my head off."

"Jesus, I never saw them coming. I most have been day dreaming when I pulled into traffic without looking."

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!"..."Please God let the pilot get control of the plane".

"Jesus spared me, its a miracle I not dead, just a broken arm and some cuts when I was thrown 500ft, what a blessing I lost everything in the tornado and subsequent flash flood but I am alive. Praise Jesus I am so lucky!. Jesus! that was a close call"
by Yehoshua611 October 16, 2007
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270
One of the greatest Prophets of God who was later greatly exaggerated to such an extent that he was attributed with divinity by early people who wished to change the true religion of Allah. That is the reason, the beautiful message of Islam (an extremely misunderstood religion which will be free of all false accusations in the future, God-Willing), is the only true way of life that will bring success in the Hereafter and Prophet Muhammad (Allah Bless Him & Give Him Peace) is the last and final Prophet of God.
Jesus is not God. He is only but a Messenger.
by ServantofAllah November 06, 2012
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271
A man that lived 2000 years ago who was either one of three things
1) The messiah, Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God who made the earth and performs miracles.
2) A crazy guy that claimed he was the messiah.
3) A man who pulled off the biggest hoax in worlds history, for he has influenced so many people of the world to believe in him and to live a good life.
Dude: "Dude Jesus is a beast at being God".

Other Dude: Na i think he was actually just a crazy raging alcholic.
by Soon to be a pastor October 29, 2009
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272
to be the ultimate master at an activity you are participating in, or to be the ultimate victor in any type of game or skill competition
holy shit, you whooped my ass your freaking Jesus

man your the greatest graffiti artist ever let your name be known, Jesus
by JesusintheurbanCanada March 14, 2009
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273
The Chris Angel of his day. He was such a celebrity he had 12 of his bitches write down whatever he did. The National Roman Socialists Party was jelious that he was stealing their popularity so they had him jumped by a bunch of lower-class jews who deny their own faith and hanged on a lowercase T, for Trumph. Jesus' fans got pissed and went on a hungerstrike. Meanwhile Jesus was being a pimp with them islams in caves aranging a blow job and got as high as possible and they all passed out. Jesus woke up 3 days later. He invented the infamous Barry Bonds who helped over throw Rome, later joining Castro. Bonds denied that he participated in a rebellion and genocide in court. Jesus refused interviews and smited those persistent fellers. Jesus is now spending time on the psHome. Bonds is rotting in jail.
Chris Angel- Ive been beaten by Jesus ON THE CHARTS!
Castro-Fuck you, he helped me!
by TheGuyWithTheUmbrella August 06, 2010
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