260
God is Jesus.
Jesus is God.
by metalsphere March 26, 2015
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261
A sexy son of a bitch that gets all the bitches
by Don'tWorryAboutMe June 19, 2016
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262
the man, died for our sins and stuff, great at videogames, gives great advice, and all around just a good friend! His name may in fact be Sam, and he doesn't actually love everyone, but he's still awesome!
person 1: dude, that kid owned us!
person 2: yeah, he must have been Jesus
person 1: or Sam
person 3: same thing

person 1: hey, that random guy just gave my great advice on my love life!
person 2: yeah, it was definitely Jesus.
person 1: he said his name was Sam!
person 2: yeah, he's Jesus
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263
some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 06, 2011
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264
An established Jesus peep may declare the Jesusness of a person, place, object, idea or situation for the sole purpose of observing the reaction of the potentially Jesus peep. This reaction would serve as confirmatory evidence of the Jesusness or non-Jesusness of the peep. The reaction of a non-Jesus peep could range from a look of bewilderment, to a facepalm, to a look of disgust--or simply walking away from the situation altogether. A Jesus peep would convey understanding of the Jesus-ness of the subject through unhesitant laughter, a high five, hand hug, or the Jesus Nod. In addition to these acknowledgements, the most bitchin' Jesus person would readily offer additional insight that further develops the Jesusness of the Jesus topic.

It must also be noted that usage of the term 'Jesus' may serve as an acceptable means of self-promotion. At the appropriate moments, a Jesus person might decide to claim Jesusness--much in the same way a nonJesus person would say, "I'm cool," the main difference being the irrefutability of the Jesusness of the Jesus peep, as opposed to the probable uncoolness of the nonJesus peep. The reason behind this is simple: Jesus is truth, and Jesus peeps only speak truth. Thus, it ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus.
Jesus peep: It ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus!
Jesus peep: Holy shit, it IS Jesus!
by jesuser than a mofo August 11, 2010
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265
1.me; your heavenly savior.
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
i am your savior; the lord-JESUS CHRIST!
by Nicole, your savior July 23, 2008
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266
Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
hey lets go pray to JESUS and then make fun of minorities!!!
by Jon is beasto August 12, 2009
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