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1. The totally awesome guy who is going to send you to hell if you don't belive in him and accept him into your heart
Guy 1: Hey guess what
Guy 2: What
Guy 1: I just accepted jesus into my heart
Guy 2: Sweet, now you'll go to heaven like the rest of us christians
by Andy P. March 06, 2006
wow i truely feel bad 4 all of u that are bashing jesus since jesus is the only human being that lived a perfct life....all u who say well in the bible its says were all sons of god how come he gets praised 4 it? it is true that the bible says that but jesus wasnt JUST the son of god he was god in a human form...and 4 u all that say there is no proof of jesus.... the bible is evidence last time i checked.....and 4 all u tht say well what if the bible is fake.....the bible was the most sold book of ANY time period so obviously when the bible was written it was true or so many people wouldnt have bought it because those people witnessed it first hand....and 4 u who say if god is real why doesnt he help people? these are the people i TRUELY feel sorry 4 bc they must not have ever had any expirences in life that inspired them that they could not explain.....god helps people everyday when a child fighting cancer unexpectingly survives after they said he was done? what do u call that? u cant call it scientific because the medical scientists that we call doctors said they were done.... if everything in this world was scientific how do explain the unexplainable that "shouldnt" happen according to science.... bottom line jesus was the greatest person to walk the earth and if u dont want to believe in him that is your decision... i personally disagree with it because that is my religion but im not living your life now am i?
BTW if anyone has an arguement against this i would like to hear it and im not saying it in a i know everything way i would just like to hear what u have to say agianst jesus and i want to hear tour persepcetve
by kct5 July 25, 2006
The Savior of the world. People have every right to reject or ignore him, but those who choose to believe will eventually feel the security, peace, and happiness that only He can bring.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.
by anonymous June 03, 2005
An ancient Philosopher and possibly savior who had a pretty decent message while alive- be nice, forgive, help those less fortunate than you. Very little is known about this man's personal life because he never wrote down anything so far as we can tell, and the four friends of his who wrote stuff about him did so decades after he whipped, humiliated, stabbed, nailed to a cross shaped object, and eventually died from the agony. Had twelve close followers one of whom betrayed him, plus a whole pack of deciples including his mother and an ex-prostitute who may or may not have been his wife. Actually may have also been attempting to start a jewish rebellion against the roman imperialist dictators, though this was probablye editted out of the scritures to make Romans convert. His early followers were a pretty nice bunch cosidering that they were skinned alive, tied to poles and shot full of arrows, whipped, stoned, crucified upsidedown, and made into human cat food in the colliseum with lions. His later followers sadly were homicidal nuts and began slaughtering innocent Jews and Muslims, and occasionally each other. This started to change around the 1900's, and was almost perfectly reformed by the 1970's with Jesus Christ Superstar when sadly a group of vile liars calling themselves undamentalists distorted his image into a hate mongering fanatic, causing comunist govts. like North Korea to ban him and turning many people away from him. The fact that some of his closest followers raped altar servers and that his name was attached to Jacko's "Juice" probably pissed him off. If alive today, he'd be chillin in jamaica with stoners or playing in the NBA as Steve Nash and MLB as Johnny Damon. Oh wait, he is. And he'd shut up Creed for good.
Jesus- Do unto others as you would have them do unto your self
Crackpot Televangelist- Um, that means give me your social security money. And while you are at it, lynch a gay man or two. yeah, that's it.
by Jonzo the Weasel January 22, 2006
A fictional character like bugs bunny or Anne Frank who is depicted in th bible, the largest selling fictional book on the face of earth. Jesus is said to have been a jew, but that can't be true because Jews are fake just like him.
Crazy Christian: JESUS IS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR, you owe him your life.
Sane People: Crazy Bitch
by Folger August 12, 2014