an ordinary man and was nothing but an extremely smart con artist. and after he got filthy rich by exploiting the gullible for money(through religion), he was executed by the romans for tax evasion since he was a jew and jews are greedy.
jesus christ- I come from heaven in order to bring salvation to humanity.

ignorant masses- what is heaven?!

jesus christ- a magical place you to go when you die where all your wishes will be granted and you will live in eternal happiness forever and forever!!

ignorant masses- Oh Shit! sounds awesome, way better than the shithole we live in right now! how do we get there?!! tell us jesus!!

jesus christ- you must worship some dude that you cannot see, touch, or hear every sunday by going to a place called church! and you must never question the lack of physical evidence of him EVER! or he damns you to hell!

ignorant mass- whats hell! sounds scary.

jesus christ- well hell is a bad bad place where people touch you in your special place and will be tortured for eternity in pits of fire!
*pretends to hear some voice*

"whats that god? you dont like people who have things that are of value such as gold and silver coins cause it is selfish?"

"and the people should donate there valuables when they attend the church on sunday?"

ignorant mass- o shit we dont want to go to hell. see you on sunday jesus.

jesus christ- suckers.
by TheMarchanter July 23, 2009
A great historical figure.
Jesus was a great historical figure!
by Ilyena July 09, 2004
a bad ass hippy. seriously, think about it, he whore sandles all the time, he had long ass hair and a beard, and he talked about peace and harmony. he was the idle tree hugger.
jesus christ is a stoner
by brooksy2410 May 20, 2007
Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior, and the son of God. He sacrificed himself so that we could live, so that even though we are imperfect and sinful in nature, that we still may go to heaven. This does not give us a free ticket to heaven though. We must believe in Him, we must love Him, and we must to our best to obey Him. We have to live for Him, we must try to live like Jesus did. Of course this is impossible, but nonetheless God wants to see us try and attempt it with all our heart and soul.
"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:5-7. This is what Jesus Christ told us
by Christ's Follower December 18, 2006
some dude commonly believed by the same kind of morons
jesus christ? actually doesn't exist!
by chun hyang February 06, 2008
A carpenter, a complex, caused alot of headache. Oy Vey
Guy at door: Have you found Jesus Christ?
Guy in house: You lost him?
by stoolybird October 26, 2006
A first-century CE rabbi who lived such an ethical life that even people who won't concede his existence insist he is on their side.
Jesus Christ was not a Republican!

Well, neither was anyone else in the first century, doofus!

by Gahmuret July 03, 2006

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