Tall, slightly chunky man with dark facial hair. Loves Black T-shirts and his sexy girlfriend. He has a fetish with boobs. His popsicle is slight smaller than normal. He never rejects you when you ask for a ride in his man van. He's a sweet and loving boyfriend but makes mistakes and doesnt really understand the female type. He has kind of a numb personality but is extremely loyal..... I mean REALLY LOYAL. He will be whatever you want hime to be. He is my bestfriend, my boyfriend, and my slave. He also enjoys blowing on lucy, his trombone....:D
He went to jared
by Ned Bluska October 29, 2010
a person whos name is jared duh. hes weird and random at times and he also sings annoying songs that get stuck in my head. blahzerz!
jeny: jared your soo weird

jared: no u!

jeny: jk your cool

jared: no u!

jeny: aww thanks teehee!!

jared: no u!

jeny: k.. getting annoying now.

jared: lalalala

jeny: ah my ears!
by jeny March 01, 2008
To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.

Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.
"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.

You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?
by RobinAmerica July 07, 2009
Jared Fogel, of Subway diet fame, lost 245 lbs in one year eating Subway fare. Lots of rumors about AIDS, coke, bypass surgery, but he apparently did it honestly.
Fat Bastard, to Austin Powers: "I went on the Subway diet, like Jared and lost 180 pounds. Unfortunately, now my neck looks like a vagina."
by Dr. Dutch Evil March 21, 2006
A guy who is usually extremly ugly sucks major dick at soccer and eats butthole for breakfast.
Dude why is that kid being such a jared i dont know look at the white stuff on his face.
by Stuhna September 27, 2010
a total stud from Cali.
my boyfriend, my favorite, my love.
loves the Lord, loves his friends, loves his family.
will someday be an amazing husband and dad.
needs to come eat a mango with me, enjoys breakfast food, hates cherry flavored items. he's a eagle scout.
and he's mine.
everyone loves Jared who wouldn't? i sure do.

that guy is such a Jared wow, i want him.
by Kelcy February 06, 2008
A man or woman (no one really knows) whose hair smells of shit. He/She is very short and tends to have a high pitched voice. Jared sucks at sports so he/she resorts to drama. Jared sits at home all day and reads because he/she has no life.
Guy: Did you see that jared over there?
Other Guy: Yeah what a faggot. I hate him!
by WienerMaster3000 August 15, 2010

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