An enormous faggot often over zealous about his passion for cocks and water polo. He spends most of his life in the pool, either playing with cock or balls. The fagooty way he slurps cock is bested only by his ability to lose in polo matches. He is also known to set his friends aside to eat cock or cradle balls.
Kid 1 : hey is Leonard coming?

Kid 2 : nah he's at the pool being a Jared

Or

Kid 1 : hey you wanna catch twilight?
Kid 2 : Nah sorry dude I'd rather be a Jared and suck cock by the pool than watch that.
by Jaredboy March 10, 2013

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Jared: Usually refered to as boring, crazy, One worded conersations. Boring coming from the Russian word "Borden".
Friends with audreys, luke enemy, Very hot.
Likes Oranges
Dude Jared is totally making me crazy.
by Jamaica789 December 08, 2011

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A girls douchey cock blocking best friend who she claims is her best friend or her brother. He is usually tall and sometimes older this is a new brand of Jared though called a Ped-Jared. His life is usually void of guy friends as he is unaware of what the bro code is. He will always try and hug your girlfriend or try to take her away from you.
Boyfriend: Hey can you hang out later.
Girlfriend: Maybe.
Jared: No remember we are going to the opera.
Boyfriend: Way to pull a Jared fag. Bro code remember?
Jared: What does the bro code mean?
by hometree January 20, 2011

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(v.) the act of sodomizing an unsuspecting homosexual negroid; often results in the contraction of AIDS. When jareding, the perpetrator lures in a pack of niggers with a bucket of fresh KFC. As the apes feast on the chicken, he thoroughly inspects them, searching for the one with the largest, most African elephant dick.

Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.

In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Blake: My asshole is feeling really tight, you wanna go jared tonight?

Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
by Von Cockenberg January 02, 2011

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a stupid fucker who can't even get dressed in the morning.
he likes hitting on married women and invariably gets beaten by their husbands.
he is usually retarded and likes literally eating shit.
that man just beat his wife's jared.
by gerard_capshen123 November 21, 2013

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A guy ever one hates just an all around prick
Omg Jared is so annoying he's such a prick
by Toolooloo August 19, 2013

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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the action of someone that has a firecracker up their butt then is lighted by someone else that has the lighter in their mouth.
WTF is that guy doing? oh, he must be a Jared!
by lustifar January 06, 2012

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One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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