hedberg 

An escalator that is temporarily stairs.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
-Mitch Hedberg

hedberg by !JayAm! December 2, 2018

hedberg 

Coming from the Swedish goaltender Johann Hedberg. Of or referring to the condition of being a homosexual.

Man that Hedberg loves the cock!

hedberg by James April 23, 2004

Hedberg 

It’s a swedish name who just the best, smartest, most skilled and the sexiest are called.

Hedberg is so beautiful and smart, I want him to my boyfriend.

Hedberg by Iamjohnsmith December 21, 2017

Hedberg 

"Verb - To Hedberg": The action of ironically making fun of someone without them realising it. In fact, the Hedberg'd victim falsely thinks he/she is respected or thought of as cool. The power of Hedberging is amplified to a whole new level when a group of people target one unsuspecting victim in a given setting.

Hey, let's Hedberg Mr. Richard into him thinking that we actually like his humor!

Hedberg by IronicalOP September 24, 2019

mitch hedberg 

A man who brought great humor into the world until he died early 2005. It was a great loss. He has produced some excellent CDs, and I very much suggest that you go and buy them.
All the previous entries on this page are correct, unless someone dissed him.

(I would put a quote here, if i could be bothered. I can, and so I will.)

"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. 'Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice.'"

and

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

And who could forget...

"On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where the fuck did you get that banana at?"

mitch hedberg by Twalger April 29, 2005

mitch hedberg 

He died...the funniest man ever died... R.I.P

we'll never froget you mitch.

mitch hedberg by ... April 1, 2005

Mitch Hedberg 

Seeing Mitch perform live (about a year before he died) was the best moment of my life. All of you are right: He's the funniest person that ever lived, and the world is much less funny without him.

Mitch Hedberg -isms:

"Escalators are good, cuz they can never break. They just become stairs."

"I find that a duck's opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread."

"I saw a human pyramid once. It was so unnecessary."

"I wish there was such a thing as cinnamon roll incense, because I would light some up in the morning and give my roommate false hope."

Mitch Hedberg by Her Royal Hard A** October 26, 2006