HOCD stands for Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it is characterised by having unwanted thoughts about your sexual orientation.These ‘thoughts’ are known as obsessions and I shall talk more about this later on in this article.It can take the from of purely an obsessive thought, which can include thoughts and urges relating to your sexual preference, but there are usually hidden compulsions–compulsions are things you do to make yourself feel better, to reassure yourself you aren't gay.People with this constantly question their sexual preference and are troubled by thoughts that they might be gay.Before developing it, you would not have given any thought to your sexual preference as it would have been a given.An important point is that it is not the content of the thoughts that are the problem, it's what you do with the thoughts.It's need for certainty and reassurance is.In other words, the compulsions.These are all characteristics of OCD and can be treated.If you have been heterosexual all your life, you will still be heterosexual, it just feels like you might be gay and not know it.It’s very simple, HOCD is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and being gay is enjoying and wanting romantic relationships with members of the same sex.If you have HOCD, your thoughts processes are concerned about being gay – not your actions. If you are gay your actions and your thoughts show that you are gay.You want, seek out and enjoy romantic relationships with the same sex.
It is the doubt that I mentioned above, and the need to know for sure, that leads you into the cycle of looking for reassurance, analysing everything and carrying out compulsions. This is what keeps it all going, it has nothing to do with your sexuality at all!
So what does this all mean?
If some of things that I have written here makes sense to you, or you recognise yourself in it, it means that
whatever is happening to you is a symptom of HOCD, it does not mean that you are gay.
This doesn’t mean you are homophobic. It is however alarming if you suddenly start to question your sexuality, which you will have been taking as a ‘given’ for all of your life
So what does this all mean?
If some of things that I have written here makes sense to you, or you recognise yourself in it, it means that
whatever is happening to you is a symptom of HOCD, it does not mean that you are gay.
This doesn’t mean you are homophobic. It is however alarming if you suddenly start to question your sexuality, which you will have been taking as a ‘given’ for all of your life
by _._.Floop._._ September 3, 2018
HOCD is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that deals with one's sexual identity. It's based around the fear that one might become or somehow is homosexual, with this notion going against all rational and actuality of that person's sexual identity as a heterosexual. In part, the fears are that of impulse and loss of control, where one feels overwhelming anxiety around the intrusive thoughts of being sexual and passionate with another member of the same sex.
This is not at all the same as closeted gays who may be afraid of social repercussions. It is not a fear of rejection by members of the same sex, but rather is a fear of the attraction itself. Healthy homosexuality and heterosexuality are based around positive feelings, whereas the feelings encompassing HOCD are quite negative and do not revolve around wholesome fulfillment. Instead, they are based around insecurities and the mind playing off these insecurities to falsify reality to the afflicted person. The person will feel an urge of sorts that just "doesnt fit" with themselves, and it causes utmost anxiety, confusion, frustration, and pain. However, the urge/thought does not go away and the anxiety persists, leading to illogical rationalization and depression, among many other negative side-effects stemming from being afflicted with the intrusive thoughts.
For those unsure about what this feels like, imagine getting the impulse to jump off a cliff. You're standing at the edge, and your body and mind scream out "no!!!" but the impulse almost convinces yourself that you want to do it. You have control over yourself, and you may hastily step back from the edge of the cliff, but might for a few minutes be scared and confused as to why you even had the impulse. This "impulse fear" is what drives the confusion in all obsessive compulsive behaviors, and is quite apparent in HOCD as well. The disorder comes with the thought of the impulse being persistent and intrusive, and not being easily dismissed by the obsessive mind. Instead of just being there, it serves to try to convince the person that maybe he did want to jump off the cliff, and maybe that is some actual reality for him. This does not fit with who the person is, and it causes confusion and mental disaster.
This is not at all the same as closeted gays who may be afraid of social repercussions. It is not a fear of rejection by members of the same sex, but rather is a fear of the attraction itself. Healthy homosexuality and heterosexuality are based around positive feelings, whereas the feelings encompassing HOCD are quite negative and do not revolve around wholesome fulfillment. Instead, they are based around insecurities and the mind playing off these insecurities to falsify reality to the afflicted person. The person will feel an urge of sorts that just "doesnt fit" with themselves, and it causes utmost anxiety, confusion, frustration, and pain. However, the urge/thought does not go away and the anxiety persists, leading to illogical rationalization and depression, among many other negative side-effects stemming from being afflicted with the intrusive thoughts.
For those unsure about what this feels like, imagine getting the impulse to jump off a cliff. You're standing at the edge, and your body and mind scream out "no!!!" but the impulse almost convinces yourself that you want to do it. You have control over yourself, and you may hastily step back from the edge of the cliff, but might for a few minutes be scared and confused as to why you even had the impulse. This "impulse fear" is what drives the confusion in all obsessive compulsive behaviors, and is quite apparent in HOCD as well. The disorder comes with the thought of the impulse being persistent and intrusive, and not being easily dismissed by the obsessive mind. Instead of just being there, it serves to try to convince the person that maybe he did want to jump off the cliff, and maybe that is some actual reality for him. This does not fit with who the person is, and it causes confusion and mental disaster.
HOCD manifests as an emotional "spike" at the sight of an attractive member of the same sex, and then ponder in confusion whether or not he found that person to be sexually attractive. This will be followed by thoughts of doing things sexual with that person, which furthers the anxiety, possibly resulting in compulsive and repetitive "checking" that manifests itself in many ways.
by tkessler October 2, 2006