Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network
Formally know as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, they offically changed their names to Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network when they decided to focus on two MLB teams, the Red Sox and Yankees. Their main headlines usually include:
*Manny being Manny
*Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez
*MANNY TRADED TO THE LA DODGERS
*David Ortiz hits Homerun Number (insert #)
*David Ortiz eats burger number (insert #)
*A-Rod and Madonna???
*A-Rod and Jeter breaks up with Madonna rumors.
*Joba Chamberlain as a possible Cy Young Candidate (No Joke, actually real)
With the occasional headlines of:
The New York Mets
LA Dodgers (only because Manny is there)
* MLB eyeing instant replay as early as late August
* Oblique puts Lowell on DL | Red Sox top Rangers
* After fouling ball off foot, Jeter sits | Yanks lose
* Cubs sweep Braves by combined score of 18-2
* Crawford opts for hand surgery | TB-OAK Live
* A's third baseman Chavez has shoulder surgery
* Quentin sits out, but balanced ChiSox top Royals
* Sheffield says he's not expecting trade | Tigers fall
* Rumor Central: Rays making push for Aurilia? Insider
Four Yankees/Red Sox headlines in the top 5 from ESPN website 8/13/08
Adj. Something which is incredibly overplayed and overdramatized.
Up next on ESPN, completely unfounded speculation regarding the motives of Brett Favre returning to the NFL, followed by a six hour discussion comparing Favre with current Packers QB Aaron Rodgers. Then we'll take you live to Brett Favre's home where we will watch him eat cheetos while watching television.
ESPN is a bunch of ass kissing Yankees, Red Sox, and Patriots fans. Last year (2008) they had a part of Sportscenter DEDICATED, yes dedicated to the old Yankee Stadium, when about 3 other teams were also in the process of building a new stadium. Every February they also dedicate a huge part of Sportscenter about the Yankees and Redsox training camps, seriously WHO CARES. ESPN is a bunch of East coast assholes who don't care at all about any other teams in the other part of the country, except for Manny and the Dodgers. Their so called "expert analyists" don't know a thing about sports, and are a bunch of ex-bench players at Division 3 schools. If you like ESPN you indeed have a vagina.
Nobody gives a shit about the Yankees and Red Sox training camps. Doesn't ESPN remember that there are 28 other teams in the MLB?
Entertainment, Sports, and Poker Network
Used to indicate the amount of poker on ESPN nowadays.
I am watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN.
Quite possibly the most biased, idiotic network on television. If you want "news" (and I use the word news lightly) just tune to anything even remotely sponsored by ESPN. At all cost will promote the Patriots ( who the fuck cares about Tom Brady's backup?!) or the Red Sox (congrats, you've finally won a world series), and the Yankees (no one cares about A-Rod anymore).
The network is also full of ex 3rd stringers, who know next to nothing about sports in general. In 2008, Espn added Sportscenter live, hosted by the two biggest retards ever in Espns history.
Avoid watching or listening too, or you will commit suicide.
Moron: Dude did you see the outplayed Sportcenter top ten?
Person with moderate intellect: The one consisting of home runs by the red sox and yankees? Fuck no, espn gargles my balls.
Full 24-hour coverage of Brett Favre, Tiger Woods, LeBron James, the Patriots, Red Sox, and Yankees. Will Brett Favre come back? Has Tiger Woods lost his dominance? Where will LeBron James go next year? Can the Patriots make it back to the Super Bowl without cheating? How will the Red Sox and Yankees fare this year? All these questions can be answered by watching ESPN.
ESPN anchor: Someone is pitching a perfect game right now! But first! The latest on Brett Favre's decision to return, and our NFL analysts will break down the Patriots' entire roster, only on ESPN!
A sports channel owned by Disney. Takes all their shit too far and when they're too butthurt over Favre, the Yankees, or anything in the MLB, then they won't show highlights when they are suppose to. Sportscenter is cheap too. They give it that ghetto like flavor because somehow they believe their main demographic is black street thugs. When they spew shit from their mouths the most, it's from the rigged championship games, and don't inform if they really were cheating because they hold bias opinions and like to show them off in an arrogant way (ex: the Steelers). Many athletes plan to sue ESPN for humilating them and for how much they can't report and anchor for caca.
ESPN anchor: Phillies win the World Series! Oh my god! Yes! Let's go and cover this for like 3 weeks.
Viewer: 3 weeks! The postseason only lasted for ONE week. Plus baseball sucks. *changes channel and eventually flips back tp ESPN where it shows the anchorman raping Favre*
ESPN Anchor: Uh, OH NO!
Favre: *girly scream*
The ability of very dumb blondes to read peoples minds
dumb blonde- wow! it is like I have ESPN or something