Doucheness: having or displaying douche like tendencies.

The Douche Patrol aims to expose all douches across the globe. We see all forms of doucheness and the ill-effects that result.
John Doe was out clubbing this weekend with such doucheness that it was a total turn off to all his fellow clubbers.
by Douche Patrol October 31, 2009
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A person who thinks they are cool, but is actually completely not cool; tool.
by Seannnn69 February 21, 2009
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Something presented as helpful and beneficial for women when in fact it's wholly unnecessary and can cause more problems down the line. Alternately, a person who might be described in a roughly similar way.
That douche seemed pleasant at first, but really started to irritate me after a few days.
by Lunck September 27, 2010
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A fucking odd person who likes to annoy the shit out of ppl and have pleasure abt it. They stand out alot due to their abnormalities and other things that ppl hate about them. Feel free to use this as an insult to those you fucking hate. Another word for a douche is nonce.
Dominic: I! Didn't! Eat! Your! CHEEEEEEEEESE!!!
Ray: Stfu you douche, I saw you.
Dominic: Fuck youuuuu! I didn't eat your cheese!!!!!
by A-A 1 January 3, 2021
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a word to describe an individual who has shown themself to be very brainless in one way or another, thus comparing them to the cleansing product for vaginas.
you're such a douche... i wish i knew your existence was this pathetic when i started hanging out with u.
by seraphina October 5, 2003
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An obnoxious bastard who mooches off of family and friends and is a complete and total ass to everyone.

Will use flattery and any other means possible to get a girl;
and learn how to play parts of songs on the guitar to attract girls. Their interests change depending on the girl they date or hang out with. Music is a good example of such interest changes. They will often listen to pop or rap if the girl enjoys it. Girls seemed oddly attracted to this charade.

Often laugh at others misfortunes reguardless of its severity. Is often a cock blocker even if the tactics used will hinder their own chances of getting a girl. Must always be the center of attention even if it means doing something socially awkward.

Sometimes makes jokes in a loud voice to draw attention to themselves. Talks loudly and in a different tone to assert that he knows a lot about a specific topic.
Occasionally they will sing along to songs on the radio and look at others riding with them to make sure they are paying attention to the fact that they are singing.

They are often white males and are stereotyped for wearing 'popped collars' but this fashion is rarely seen. They most often wear a hat in an unconventional way (Such as: backwards, to one side, slightly to one side, or obnoxiously worn on one side of the head, appearing to be barely stable) Being a douche is not limited to just males.

In short a douche is a living contradiction!
Guy 1: "I don't understand how Joey has any friends, he's a total douche."

Guy 2: "I guess girls like that whole asshole attitude."
by JLTJ April 16, 2011
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People who are stupid, lie, and slow down the progress of all man-kind
by Star Girl Ollie September 11, 2007
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