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1.
1. An internetly transmitted disease, known as an I.T.D. Symptoms include:

- Sweaty Fingers
- Uncontrollable desire to say "derp".
- Hunger
- Fatigue
- Cyber Sex Sessions as to propagate the disease.
- Chat sessions as to propagate the I.T.D

How to cure:
No known cure has been found, yet. Derp.
Anonymous: We owned him. Derp.

Anonymouse: We sure did. Lmfao.

Anonymous: Nice name . Derp

Anonymouse: Oh fuck, you have derpes, don't you? Derp.

Anonymouse: FFFFFuuuuuuuuuuu
by www.Derpes.com January 28, 2010
 
2.
A terminal disease that took its namesake from herpes. Can be contracted as a result of prolonged exposure to / conversation with trolls or even just overly stupid people.
If contracted, stay indoors and contact your GP immediately, but do not - under any circumstances - converse with them for any longer than needed, lest you infect them in turn with Derpes.
Patient (on telephone): derp lol doc i thnk i gotted derpes
Doctor (on telephone): Good Lord. Are you capable of any coherent speech?
Patient: wat is cohurrent
Doctor (infected): herf i dunno lol
by ItsjH November 14, 2010
 
3.
A contagious form of right-wing rhetoric. An intellectual disease infecting the Republican Party.
After the GOP debates, every one of the candidates has been infected with derpes.
by D. J. M. November 13, 2011
 
4.
A degenerate disease caused by being in the presence of ugly bitches. Known symptoms include an uncontrollable desire not to fuck, and to have quite imaginative and horrifyingly disgusting visual presence, generally involving something unimaginably repulsive to the nasty-ass, uninfected partner.
Nasty bitch #1: Are you going to fuck me or not?
Normal dude: Actually, I can't. I've just been diagnosed with derpes. I've got these gross pus-filled boils on my shaft.

Some time later…

Nasty bitch #2: Can we fuck now?
Normal dude: I can't, I've got derpes. Highly contagious. My dick oozes nasty goop when it's near pussy. Doc says I've gotta stay away from women, and try to be gay for a while.
by Derpes saves lives! August 19, 2012
 
5.
The outcome of what happens when a derp gives a person the herps.
"So I went to the gyno today and I found out I have Herpes."
"I bet that derp boyfriend of yours gave it to you, huh?"
"Shit, your right. So I don't have herpes, I have derpes."
by NeonAcidDrop December 02, 2011
 
6.
symptoms: retarded twisted facial expressions and outrageous nonsense coming out of you like word vomit
everyone on atp has derpes
by hollmonster February 18, 2011
 
7.
A sexually transmitted disease passed from retard to retard.
Dude, I think Marianna has Derpes. She did it with Manuel last night and he's a retard!
by bhumanjib8uh34 May 13, 2010