A terminal disease that took its namesake from herpes. Can be contracted as a result of prolonged exposure to / conversation with trolls or even just overly stupid people.
If contracted, stay indoors and contact your GP immediately, but do not - under any circumstances - converse with them for any longer than needed, lest you infect them in turn with Derpes.
Patient (on telephone): derp lol doc i thnk i gotted derpes
Doctor (on telephone): Good Lord. Are you capable of any coherent speech?
Patient: wat is cohurrent
Doctor (infected): herf i dunno lol