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Critical Masturbation 

1. What happens when you get two or more bicycle enthusiasts in a room. Typical topics of conversation include: How much their bikes/components/spandex bodysuits cost; How cyclists get no respect from motor vehicles, which they totally deserve and ought to fight for, even though the usual rules of the road--like stoplights, crosswalks, and one-way streets--obviously don't apply to bicycles; and What brand of toe clip/leg wax/douchenozzle is appropriate for race day?

2. The world's largest monthly circlejerk.
CABBIE: Sorry sir, it looks like we have a delay.
PASSENGER: Can't we go around?
CABBIE: Nope, they got the whole road shut down. Looks like some kind of douche pride parade.
PASSENGER: Oh, it's that time of the month: Critical Masturbation.
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Critical Massturbation 

(n)The point at which one's ejaculation becomes explosive.
"Man, last night I jacked it for like six hours before I hit critical massturbation."